When I was in Second Grade, we had a project where we wrote about our dreams. We picked a dream and posted our dream on a star out in the hallway. As a seven year old child, my dream was to get a scholarship and go to college. I wrote that on my construction-paper star and put it on the wall next to all the other poorly cut-out stars. My peers dreamed of becoming ballerinas or doctors or baseball players. I dreamed of a high education and not having to pay for it. My dreams have always been pretty realistic, even from a young age. I should be very proud of myself, because ten years later I was accepted to all six colleges I applied to and received scholarships of varying amounts from each one.
We dream to go to college and we dream to not have to pay a fortune for it. We dream of a higher education and of having that college experience. But how do you know you will pick the right college? How do you know you are going to like it?
I went to countless seminars and read articles on a daily basis about picking the right school. I did all my research and worked very hard to assure myself that I was on the right track to picking the perfect school for me. These articles and seminars promise that you will be able to find a college that you will love. You attack that overwhelming process of touring schools, filling out applications, and reading up on the schools with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, you soon realize how hard it will be to really know which school is right for you.
You will know what the campus looks like. You will know what majors and minors are available. You will know how big classes are, if the school is religious, how many students there are, and about all the clubs that are listed on their websites.
What you do not know about is how you will like it there and how you will fit in on campus. You do not know what parties will be happening. You do not know how many people are drinking or if your neighbors across the hall will be smoking marijuana. You do not know what kind of people attend the school. You can get an understanding of how many games the hockey team will win and how much your professors will be able to help you if you are struggling, but you will have no idea what to expect socially.
I am a victim of college websites, seminars, and tour guides not telling me what I needed to know. I am a victim of not learning what questions to ask. I am a victim of being sheltered from the information I needed to understand in order to be well informed about choosing my college.
If I had known about what the social life was like at my college, I can guarantee that I would never have chosen this school. Every single weekend there are loud parties with music and drinking. I smell marijuana too often and every Saturday when I wake up, the path to the cafeteria is strewn with empty beer cans.
One of the reasons I chose the school I did was because I am Catholic and I wanted to go to a Catholic school. I wanted to be able to stay on campus to go to church and I wanted a school with religious values and a large number of Catholic people. What going to this Catholic school really means is that you have to walk a mile to the church in the freezing cold on Sundays to see the same twenty people at church. It means you have to take two religion courses that do not even focus on Catholicism as part of your core classes. It does not mean that there will be a lot more Catholic people than normally, and it certainly does not mean that the students will live by Catholic values.
Nobody tells you that everyone will drink. I figured when I came to college, only about half of the people or so would drink. I can count on one hand the people I know that do not drink at all. I absolutely hate being around drunk people and I do not like parties at all. I cannot stand being around people who are loud and incoherent. I detest dancing in a room where I cannot move due to the number of people in the tiny room. I was not informed that I would be expected to attend these parties and enjoy them.
Nobody told me that I was supposed to take the social aspect of college into consideration equally as much as the academic aspect. Although "nobody" told me, I do not even have a someone to blame. I cannot blame the colleges. They would never want to advertise the amount of underage drinking and how they have campus police ignore it for our "safety". I cannot blame the seminars because they were geared towards the parents, telling them to look for academically strong colleges that their children would be able to thrive in. I cannot even blame myself, because I was told by every source to focus on academics and that I would find the right social groups by just being myself. I was told that I would find people that were like me just by being at college. I can certainly assure you that I have not. I have friends. In fact, I have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I love them so much, but they are not the types of friends I thought I would make. I thought I would find a bunch of people like me, but I did not. I thought I would thrive in the college I picked, because I would thrive anywhere...right? At least that is what I was told...
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Why Do Girls Not Like Nice Guys?
Sometimes I find inspiration mid-conversation for blog posts that I could work on. I will take notes, stick the notes to my refrigerator with a magnet I found inside the washing machine in the laundry room, and when I feel inspired, write on the subjects. The latest thought I scribbled down was "Why do girls not like nice guys???". I wrote this down when one of my friends complained about guy that she had been recently talking to. They both were aware of the fact that they were interested in each other, but had yet to act on those feelings. He was persistently texting her and asking to have lunch or dinner with him as soon as we returned to school from Winter Break. My friend became irritated with him and started complaining. She said that the fact that he kept insisting on seeing her was annoying. She then went on to say that she hated when he complimented her personality and how he never stopped talking about how kind she was and how intelligent she was.
Just as I was about to speak up and express how I was appalled by what she had just said, my other friend joined in and said "I can't stand when guys do that". These girls hate it when guys try to make plans with them and constantly compliment them on their personalities. Just let that sink in for a moment...
First of all, these are not the first girls that I have heard claim that they are annoyed by guys that try to make plans and compliment them and their personalities constantly. This is merely the most recent example that I have heard. In fact, I have heard countless peers make similar claims about how they feel towards these types of guys.
Second, before I even get into how unbelievable this all is, I should give a brief background on my experience with guys. The one guy I have actually been with never made the plans and almost never complimented me. I made all the plans and I did not receive compliments unless I complained about feeling inadequate. I find it fortunate that I finally realized how this was not acceptable.
Maybe it is the fact that I have not experienced a guy actively chasing after me, trying to make plans with me, or constantly complimenting me. Maybe it is the fact that my expectations are incredibly low in the guy-taking-charge-and-participating-in-the-relationship department. Whatever it is, I cannot understand why girls would not want a guy that tries to make plans with them or that compliments them.
Why would these girls not want to spend time with these guys? They are interested in them and I would assume they want to see them. So why are they annoyed by the fact that the guy is taking charge and trying to arrange this?
Additionally, as far as the compliments go, they are personality based. These are not based on looks or anything superficial. I can understand a girl being upset with a guy only complimenting her physical appearance, but personality compliments should be completely welcome.
My sympathy is with the poor guys on this subject. They are told that women want them to take charge in relationships and that women need to be treated with respect and kindness at all times. Trying to find time to spend with the girls they are interested in, where there is mutual attraction, is respectful and kind. Complimenting a girl's personality is also a perfect example of this respect and kindness.
Too often I see girls being treated terribly in relationships. The guys expect the girl to take charge, make all the plans, and not be expectant of any compliments. A guy that would make time for a girl he cares about and takes time to formulate compliments in a way that boosts her self-esteem would be a blessing to any girl, at least he would be in my opinion (my backwards, unusual opinion according to these types of girls).
Moreover, since these guys are doing exactly what they are supposed to do, how are they supposed to understand where they went wrong in the relationship/flirtationship? (flirtationship meaning that they are both interested in each other and are aware of it, but the relationship is not defined yet). If a girl is annoyed by this behavior, how is he supposed to understand why? Being kind is not usually a problem, but if it was, what should they do to fix it? Not try to see the girl? Not compliment her? Is he wrong for being kind to her and showing her verbal affection?
My inner spinster is coming out right now and I will admit that I would love to be in this kind of situation with a guy. To have a someone interested in me, who actively makes plans with me, that compliments me on my personality, would be ideal. I cannot possibly imagine ever finding these qualities annoying.
I think nice guys should not be wasting their time with girls that are annoyed by their kindness. A guy that takes time for a girl and puts thought into the way that he expresses his admiration towards her is hard to come by. This rare type of guy should not be spending time with a girl that is not able to see how wonderful he is. He should be investing his time in a relationship where the girl is appreciative of his efforts.
Just as I was about to speak up and express how I was appalled by what she had just said, my other friend joined in and said "I can't stand when guys do that". These girls hate it when guys try to make plans with them and constantly compliment them on their personalities. Just let that sink in for a moment...
First of all, these are not the first girls that I have heard claim that they are annoyed by guys that try to make plans and compliment them and their personalities constantly. This is merely the most recent example that I have heard. In fact, I have heard countless peers make similar claims about how they feel towards these types of guys.
Second, before I even get into how unbelievable this all is, I should give a brief background on my experience with guys. The one guy I have actually been with never made the plans and almost never complimented me. I made all the plans and I did not receive compliments unless I complained about feeling inadequate. I find it fortunate that I finally realized how this was not acceptable.
Maybe it is the fact that I have not experienced a guy actively chasing after me, trying to make plans with me, or constantly complimenting me. Maybe it is the fact that my expectations are incredibly low in the guy-taking-charge-and-participating-in-the-relationship department. Whatever it is, I cannot understand why girls would not want a guy that tries to make plans with them or that compliments them.
Why would these girls not want to spend time with these guys? They are interested in them and I would assume they want to see them. So why are they annoyed by the fact that the guy is taking charge and trying to arrange this?
Additionally, as far as the compliments go, they are personality based. These are not based on looks or anything superficial. I can understand a girl being upset with a guy only complimenting her physical appearance, but personality compliments should be completely welcome.
My sympathy is with the poor guys on this subject. They are told that women want them to take charge in relationships and that women need to be treated with respect and kindness at all times. Trying to find time to spend with the girls they are interested in, where there is mutual attraction, is respectful and kind. Complimenting a girl's personality is also a perfect example of this respect and kindness.
Too often I see girls being treated terribly in relationships. The guys expect the girl to take charge, make all the plans, and not be expectant of any compliments. A guy that would make time for a girl he cares about and takes time to formulate compliments in a way that boosts her self-esteem would be a blessing to any girl, at least he would be in my opinion (my backwards, unusual opinion according to these types of girls).
Moreover, since these guys are doing exactly what they are supposed to do, how are they supposed to understand where they went wrong in the relationship/flirtationship? (flirtationship meaning that they are both interested in each other and are aware of it, but the relationship is not defined yet). If a girl is annoyed by this behavior, how is he supposed to understand why? Being kind is not usually a problem, but if it was, what should they do to fix it? Not try to see the girl? Not compliment her? Is he wrong for being kind to her and showing her verbal affection?
My inner spinster is coming out right now and I will admit that I would love to be in this kind of situation with a guy. To have a someone interested in me, who actively makes plans with me, that compliments me on my personality, would be ideal. I cannot possibly imagine ever finding these qualities annoying.
I think nice guys should not be wasting their time with girls that are annoyed by their kindness. A guy that takes time for a girl and puts thought into the way that he expresses his admiration towards her is hard to come by. This rare type of guy should not be spending time with a girl that is not able to see how wonderful he is. He should be investing his time in a relationship where the girl is appreciative of his efforts.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
If I Hosted Saturday Night Live
The actors behind Saturday Night Live absolutely amaze me. To be able to perform flawlessly in front of not only a live studio audience, but millions on live television is unthinkable to me. The fact that all of the acting is comedy based and breaking is not a common occurrence is remarkable. I find this to be fascinating because I have a hard time keeping a straight face even telling a joke. I have always been a fan of theater, so bringing that to live television and mixed with my favorite genre, comedy, makes Saturday Night Live one of my favorite shows. I have considered for years what I would do if for some reason I was given the opportunity to host the iconic show.
First of all, I would open with my monologue. Many celebrities talk about their upcoming projects that they are promoting. Others, usually comedians, do some stand up comedy. The rest usually resort to some sort of comedic song that relies a lot on the other cast members. I cannot sing at all, so a song is out of the question. I feel like I would tell a series of short jokes in a Demetri Martin style. After that, the most difficult part of the evening, was over, I would proceed to my celebrity impressions and characters.
For my celebrity impression, I would do Aubrey Plaza. I have a naturally low voice like she does and I would speak with a negative disposition and have banal mannerisms. I would wear a wig, have heavy eyeliner, dark lips, and not smile at all. I would act as Aubrey Plaza on "Bein' Quirky with Zooey Deschanel" segment that Saturday Night Live does. I would work alongside "Zooey Deschanel" and "Michael Cera" who are my two favorite actors, so it would work perfectly. I enjoy their quirkiness and I will admit that I have a crush on Michael Cera (I hear your judgement, I accept it, I understand why, but I don't care). Zooey would have me on the show to do an interview of sorts and possibly a craft. I would explain my boredom with the entire idea and find ways to exaggerate Aubrey's negative disposition that she displays as April Ludgate on "Parks and Recreation". I would love to play her because she is an idol of mine and I love her deadpan humor, which is my favorite style of comedy.
Another segment that I would love to be a part of would be Weekend Update. My favorite part of Weekend Update is when Bobby Moynihan comes on to play Drunk Uncle. He is absolutely hilarious with his glass of scotch, ugly sweater, and commentary on kids today with their iPods and tweeting. I would love to play Drunk Uncle's ex-wife. She would also be drunk and make similar comments that Drunk Uncle makes. She would wear ugly clothing like him and have graying hair. The two would drunkenly insult each other and make comments towards the other's drinking habits. Drunk Uncle is one of my favorite recurring characters on the show so playing his wife would be so much fun for me to do.
I am sure that I would be placed in a few more skits, but I would definitely want to play Aubrey Plaza and interact with "Zooey Deschanel" and "Michael Cera". I would also love to work with Bobby Moynihan, one of my favorites on the show and do something with "Drunk Uncle".
Of course, I will never host Saturday Night Live. It is fun to think of what I would do if I had the opportunity, but one must be realistic. I may never host it, but if I ever needed to, I would know exactly what to do.
First of all, I would open with my monologue. Many celebrities talk about their upcoming projects that they are promoting. Others, usually comedians, do some stand up comedy. The rest usually resort to some sort of comedic song that relies a lot on the other cast members. I cannot sing at all, so a song is out of the question. I feel like I would tell a series of short jokes in a Demetri Martin style. After that, the most difficult part of the evening, was over, I would proceed to my celebrity impressions and characters.
For my celebrity impression, I would do Aubrey Plaza. I have a naturally low voice like she does and I would speak with a negative disposition and have banal mannerisms. I would wear a wig, have heavy eyeliner, dark lips, and not smile at all. I would act as Aubrey Plaza on "Bein' Quirky with Zooey Deschanel" segment that Saturday Night Live does. I would work alongside "Zooey Deschanel" and "Michael Cera" who are my two favorite actors, so it would work perfectly. I enjoy their quirkiness and I will admit that I have a crush on Michael Cera (I hear your judgement, I accept it, I understand why, but I don't care). Zooey would have me on the show to do an interview of sorts and possibly a craft. I would explain my boredom with the entire idea and find ways to exaggerate Aubrey's negative disposition that she displays as April Ludgate on "Parks and Recreation". I would love to play her because she is an idol of mine and I love her deadpan humor, which is my favorite style of comedy.
Another segment that I would love to be a part of would be Weekend Update. My favorite part of Weekend Update is when Bobby Moynihan comes on to play Drunk Uncle. He is absolutely hilarious with his glass of scotch, ugly sweater, and commentary on kids today with their iPods and tweeting. I would love to play Drunk Uncle's ex-wife. She would also be drunk and make similar comments that Drunk Uncle makes. She would wear ugly clothing like him and have graying hair. The two would drunkenly insult each other and make comments towards the other's drinking habits. Drunk Uncle is one of my favorite recurring characters on the show so playing his wife would be so much fun for me to do.
I am sure that I would be placed in a few more skits, but I would definitely want to play Aubrey Plaza and interact with "Zooey Deschanel" and "Michael Cera". I would also love to work with Bobby Moynihan, one of my favorites on the show and do something with "Drunk Uncle".
Of course, I will never host Saturday Night Live. It is fun to think of what I would do if I had the opportunity, but one must be realistic. I may never host it, but if I ever needed to, I would know exactly what to do.
Friday, January 10, 2014
What I Learned During My First Semester in College, Not Academically Speaking
My first semester of college was absolutely crazy. I learned so much in the classroom, but one could argue that I learned more outside of the classroom. I became a lot more "street smart" this semester and was able to catch up on some parts of my social education that I somehow missed in High School without realizing it. I might as well give an overview of those lessons because they are nearly as important as the formal education I am receiving at college.
1. Not Everyone is Drinking, But Almost Everyone Is
I expected a few people to drink when I came to college. I knew there would be a few parties and maybe about half of the people would drink and about a quarter would get drunk. I have no idea what the statistics really are, but they are definitely much higher. I have never had more than just a sip of alcohol in my entire life. Meanwhile there are people in my building who get drunk in the middle of the day if they don't have classes. I try my best not to judge because it is their life, not mine. While I do not judge, I do have one statement to make on the subject. Go and get drunk if you want, it's your life. However, if I can year your obnoxious yelling or any of your loud party music above my headphones when I am watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix, we have a problem.
2. I Do Not Need a Huge Purse
In High School I carried a purse that was big enough to carry pens, lotion, hand sanitizer, a nail file, a wallet, lip-stain, a smaller purse, papers, checks, a water bottle, tissues, and a snack. I would play games with my sister and friends to see if anyone could guess all the items in my purse, but they usually got stuck when there were band-aids, paperclips, and hair ties still siting in the bottom. I have now consolidated everything into a very small Vera Bradley wristlet which can hold a cell phone, three credit cards, an ID, a little cash, and coins. I am able to carry my license, student ID, credit card, and money with me at all times and I have a small bottle of sanitizer hanging around the key-ring with my suite and dorm key. I have never found myself in a situation where I would rather have that big bulky purse than that wristlet. I have everything I need in the small accessory and it is much better than carrying around a bag that could fit a small dog.
3. Roommate Conflicts are Inevitable
I have seen it happen to roommates during the first week and I have seen roommates that are best friends argue. When you sleep only eight feet from someone you just met a couple months prior, conflicts happen. To be completely honest, my roommate and I did not get along at all at first. She annoyed me and complained and I annoyed her and complained right back. I am a scatterbrain and she rearranges the pictures on her wall and organizes her desk on a regular basis. She is always hot and I am always cold. We fought at first and worked through many conflicts. It was very difficult to do and my grades suffered. I wanted to go home, and when she did, it was wonderful for me. Over time, we put everything on the table. We talked through all our issues instead of bottling them up. We called each other out issues that bothered us and as a result, we found peace and friendship. I now consider my roommate one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and I am free to be myself around her. Roommate conflicts are inevitable but friendships are not. If you argue with your roommate, congratulations: you are normal. If you move past those arguments and become friends, then congratulations: you are extremely lucky.
4. Long Distance Doesn't Work (For Most)
Most couples will break up very soon after separation, but some will stay together. What is the difference between those few that stay together and those many that fall apart? Communication. Communication is key in every single situation. It is important in roommate conflict resolution and it is important in long distance relationships. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is not responding to your communication attempts, it is a red flag. If it takes them two weeks to respond to your breakup message because they were too busy ignoring you, it is the biggest sign that you made the right decision.
5. Your Weight Can and Will Change
Fortunately for me, I did not gain the Freshman Fifteen: I lost it. Unfortunately for many of my peers, they fell victim to the cliché and now stretch the limits of their jeans and wear leggings and yoga pants much more often. A few of my friends gained some weight and a few lost it. It is all due to a change in diet and exercise routine. Why does this happen? Many people see college as the freedom to order pizza, drink lots of alcohol, and stop going to the gym. Others see it as an opportunity to eat the healthy food available in the cafeteria and use the gym that comes free with that $40,000 tuition. During your first semester, your weight will probably change because your routines will change. It is up to you to decide if you will gain or lose it.
6. You Dress Like a Slut on Halloween and That is Socially Acceptable
For Halloween, I was Kim Possible. For a quick refresher course in 2000's Disney cartoons, she's just your basic, average girl, here to save the world. She had bright orange hair that was very large, had brown lips, and her outfit of choice for fighting crime was a revealing black top with green cargo capri pants (from Club Banana, of course). I decided to take this on as my Halloween costume. I found a black cheerleader crop top that revealed my entire stomach and only spared my arms and chest in its conquest to show my body to the world. I also bought extremely short green shorts with cargo pockets because they looked much better than pants. I looked like a total slut. The feminist part of me was very ashamed for what I wore, but the teenager who finally felt confident in her body for the first time in two years had a proud victory that day. I was encouraged by my peers and they loved my costume with teased orange hair and revealing outfit. Halloween is the get-out-of-being-called-a-slut-no-matter-how-trashy-you-look holiday on college campuses.
7. You Can Exist in One Square Mile for Weeks on End
Before college, this simple concept seemed impossible. Spending more than just a few days in a square mile of space would seem very unusual because I have to drive about ten miles before I can access anything. At college I have my home, my friends, my food, my classes, my gym, and my social events all on this tiny campus of about a square mile. It is possible and while an unusual concept, I do not mind it one bit.
8. Leggings are the Best Invention Ever
When I was in High School, I thought girls that wore leggings and yoga pants in public were girls that were either trying too hard to show off their flat butts in something that would flatter it, or giving up on life. I realized that wearing soft clothes in public is actually fine. Leggings look amazing on almost every figure and they are much more comfortable than any pair of jeans. When they are worn tastefully, they look great.
9. Relationships are Not Formally Defined
I read a lot of classics like Jane Eyre. I have an affinity for the courtship customs of past centuries. A guy would be a lot better off asking me to become his girlfriend than asking me to "hang" or "chill" several times and then become "kinda sorta a thing" with me. This new concept of DTR (defining the relationship) sounds stressful and I do not even need to do it. When I was asked out when I was fifteen years old, it was specific and the relationship was defined in the form of a question. I appreciated that and although it sounds juvenile, I would like that to happen to me again someday. Of course, I would have to know the guy pretty well beforehand. He would have to be a friend or someone I had hung out with a few times to got to know first. This new relationship culture of just being "kinda sorta a thing" seems so confusing and unecessary. I like knowing what is going on around me, and being in a flirtationship like that would be so confusing and annoying in my opinion... but who knows? It's probably better than being single.
10. You Learn Who Your Real Friends Are
In High School, I had many friends. There was not any concept of popularity due to the size of my school (we had seventy seven students in the entire school). I got along with everyone and while I had some frienemies, I was perfectly content with my friendship circle. After High School ended, I knew that one of my best friends who I have texted constantly since 2009 would stick around, but I was afraid another would fade away. Instead of the drifting apart that I feared, we kept in touch and now she drives me home for vacations from college. I even stayed at her college one weekend recently. When I went to college, I learned who cared enough to keep in touch and who I cared about enough to stay in contact with. I have my two friends from High School that I still consider my best friends. When I left High School, I did not have as many true friends as I thought I did, but I realized how close I was with the two I had.
1. Not Everyone is Drinking, But Almost Everyone Is
I expected a few people to drink when I came to college. I knew there would be a few parties and maybe about half of the people would drink and about a quarter would get drunk. I have no idea what the statistics really are, but they are definitely much higher. I have never had more than just a sip of alcohol in my entire life. Meanwhile there are people in my building who get drunk in the middle of the day if they don't have classes. I try my best not to judge because it is their life, not mine. While I do not judge, I do have one statement to make on the subject. Go and get drunk if you want, it's your life. However, if I can year your obnoxious yelling or any of your loud party music above my headphones when I am watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix, we have a problem.
2. I Do Not Need a Huge Purse
In High School I carried a purse that was big enough to carry pens, lotion, hand sanitizer, a nail file, a wallet, lip-stain, a smaller purse, papers, checks, a water bottle, tissues, and a snack. I would play games with my sister and friends to see if anyone could guess all the items in my purse, but they usually got stuck when there were band-aids, paperclips, and hair ties still siting in the bottom. I have now consolidated everything into a very small Vera Bradley wristlet which can hold a cell phone, three credit cards, an ID, a little cash, and coins. I am able to carry my license, student ID, credit card, and money with me at all times and I have a small bottle of sanitizer hanging around the key-ring with my suite and dorm key. I have never found myself in a situation where I would rather have that big bulky purse than that wristlet. I have everything I need in the small accessory and it is much better than carrying around a bag that could fit a small dog.
3. Roommate Conflicts are Inevitable
I have seen it happen to roommates during the first week and I have seen roommates that are best friends argue. When you sleep only eight feet from someone you just met a couple months prior, conflicts happen. To be completely honest, my roommate and I did not get along at all at first. She annoyed me and complained and I annoyed her and complained right back. I am a scatterbrain and she rearranges the pictures on her wall and organizes her desk on a regular basis. She is always hot and I am always cold. We fought at first and worked through many conflicts. It was very difficult to do and my grades suffered. I wanted to go home, and when she did, it was wonderful for me. Over time, we put everything on the table. We talked through all our issues instead of bottling them up. We called each other out issues that bothered us and as a result, we found peace and friendship. I now consider my roommate one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and I am free to be myself around her. Roommate conflicts are inevitable but friendships are not. If you argue with your roommate, congratulations: you are normal. If you move past those arguments and become friends, then congratulations: you are extremely lucky.
4. Long Distance Doesn't Work (For Most)
Most couples will break up very soon after separation, but some will stay together. What is the difference between those few that stay together and those many that fall apart? Communication. Communication is key in every single situation. It is important in roommate conflict resolution and it is important in long distance relationships. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is not responding to your communication attempts, it is a red flag. If it takes them two weeks to respond to your breakup message because they were too busy ignoring you, it is the biggest sign that you made the right decision.
5. Your Weight Can and Will Change
Fortunately for me, I did not gain the Freshman Fifteen: I lost it. Unfortunately for many of my peers, they fell victim to the cliché and now stretch the limits of their jeans and wear leggings and yoga pants much more often. A few of my friends gained some weight and a few lost it. It is all due to a change in diet and exercise routine. Why does this happen? Many people see college as the freedom to order pizza, drink lots of alcohol, and stop going to the gym. Others see it as an opportunity to eat the healthy food available in the cafeteria and use the gym that comes free with that $40,000 tuition. During your first semester, your weight will probably change because your routines will change. It is up to you to decide if you will gain or lose it.
6. You Dress Like a Slut on Halloween and That is Socially Acceptable
For Halloween, I was Kim Possible. For a quick refresher course in 2000's Disney cartoons, she's just your basic, average girl, here to save the world. She had bright orange hair that was very large, had brown lips, and her outfit of choice for fighting crime was a revealing black top with green cargo capri pants (from Club Banana, of course). I decided to take this on as my Halloween costume. I found a black cheerleader crop top that revealed my entire stomach and only spared my arms and chest in its conquest to show my body to the world. I also bought extremely short green shorts with cargo pockets because they looked much better than pants. I looked like a total slut. The feminist part of me was very ashamed for what I wore, but the teenager who finally felt confident in her body for the first time in two years had a proud victory that day. I was encouraged by my peers and they loved my costume with teased orange hair and revealing outfit. Halloween is the get-out-of-being-called-a-slut-no-matter-how-trashy-you-look holiday on college campuses.
7. You Can Exist in One Square Mile for Weeks on End
Before college, this simple concept seemed impossible. Spending more than just a few days in a square mile of space would seem very unusual because I have to drive about ten miles before I can access anything. At college I have my home, my friends, my food, my classes, my gym, and my social events all on this tiny campus of about a square mile. It is possible and while an unusual concept, I do not mind it one bit.
8. Leggings are the Best Invention Ever
When I was in High School, I thought girls that wore leggings and yoga pants in public were girls that were either trying too hard to show off their flat butts in something that would flatter it, or giving up on life. I realized that wearing soft clothes in public is actually fine. Leggings look amazing on almost every figure and they are much more comfortable than any pair of jeans. When they are worn tastefully, they look great.
9. Relationships are Not Formally Defined
I read a lot of classics like Jane Eyre. I have an affinity for the courtship customs of past centuries. A guy would be a lot better off asking me to become his girlfriend than asking me to "hang" or "chill" several times and then become "kinda sorta a thing" with me. This new concept of DTR (defining the relationship) sounds stressful and I do not even need to do it. When I was asked out when I was fifteen years old, it was specific and the relationship was defined in the form of a question. I appreciated that and although it sounds juvenile, I would like that to happen to me again someday. Of course, I would have to know the guy pretty well beforehand. He would have to be a friend or someone I had hung out with a few times to got to know first. This new relationship culture of just being "kinda sorta a thing" seems so confusing and unecessary. I like knowing what is going on around me, and being in a flirtationship like that would be so confusing and annoying in my opinion... but who knows? It's probably better than being single.
10. You Learn Who Your Real Friends Are
In High School, I had many friends. There was not any concept of popularity due to the size of my school (we had seventy seven students in the entire school). I got along with everyone and while I had some frienemies, I was perfectly content with my friendship circle. After High School ended, I knew that one of my best friends who I have texted constantly since 2009 would stick around, but I was afraid another would fade away. Instead of the drifting apart that I feared, we kept in touch and now she drives me home for vacations from college. I even stayed at her college one weekend recently. When I went to college, I learned who cared enough to keep in touch and who I cared about enough to stay in contact with. I have my two friends from High School that I still consider my best friends. When I left High School, I did not have as many true friends as I thought I did, but I realized how close I was with the two I had.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
I Fall in Love
I fall in love daily with the smallest aspects of life. I am constantly fixating on the smallest parts of my daily interactions and experiences. I crush on the simple and daydream over the norm. I fall in love every single day.
I fall in love with glasses. The way they frame a man's face to make it dignified and distinguished. Thick pieces of wire that outline eyes like picture frames over works of art are my weakness. They give a sophisticated look to an ugly face and add an intelligent aspect to a handsome face. They bring beauty to imperfect eyes.
I fall in love with accents. The accent can be a charming British accent or a rough Irish one. The slightest hint of a Boston accent or southern twang makes me melt. Even Canadian accents or dialects from New England are beautiful. The slightest changes in the way letters roll off the lips contain both intriguing mystery and distinctive cultural identity.
I fall in love with clothing. A man who wears a suit and looks out of place is a picture of misplaced formality. A man that wears a suit and carries himself in a way that inspires confidence wears that suit correctly. A man who carries himself in this same confident way wearing a graphic tee and worn jeans is more sophisticated than a man forcing himself to wear a suit when he is not confident enough. Clothing of any kind, worn correctly on the right man, is irresistible.
I fall in love with scent. A man walks by and the slightest breeze is felt across the face, just enough to show that someone passed by. That slight breeze is filled with a scent that cannot be explained by any perfume company. It is not found in a bottle, body wash, or deodorant. Some men naturally smell intoxicatingly wonderful and it is awe inspiring.
I fall in love with lyrics. When a man sings of love and expresses feelings through song, those feelings are translated into the listener's own experiences and situations. The love and heartbreak found in the lyrics of love songs are reminders of hidden emotion. Those lyrics are reassurance that those emotions can be released freely without judgment, because everyone goes through them.
I fall in love with smiles. The way a man's cheeks move back to form lines that outline his mouth. Sometimes a few dimples form and the motion reveals a slight grin. The grin opens up to show teeth, often followed by a short chuckle or humored exhale. The playful expression emerging from a brooding face shows sensitivity behind tense, judgmental faces.
I fall in love with religious symbols. A cross hanging on a gold chain around a man's neck shows spirituality and commitment to faith. It represents the strength in a being greater than himself. It reflects the wearer's willingness to be humble and recognize what is more important than himself or his daily life.
I fall in love with teasing. A man that has a clever way of crafting playful insults and delivering them lightly with a smirk is attractive for his intelligence and wit. He is able to snidely comment in such a way that the recipient of it is not insulted, but is able to laugh along in the process.
I fall in love with confident mannerisms. A frankly stated comment in a deep, confident voice shows that the speaker is self-assured. Speaking in this dignified way inspires everyone who hears to view the speaker as a man of importance. It shows that he can inspire and lead. The confident voice accompanied by a charming smile shows a man that knows what he wants and needs.
I fall in love daily. I fall in love with sights, sounds, scents, and emotion. I fall in love with smiles, tears, songs, paintings, and people. I fall in love constantly, repeatedly, and unceasingly.
I fall in love with glasses. The way they frame a man's face to make it dignified and distinguished. Thick pieces of wire that outline eyes like picture frames over works of art are my weakness. They give a sophisticated look to an ugly face and add an intelligent aspect to a handsome face. They bring beauty to imperfect eyes.
I fall in love with accents. The accent can be a charming British accent or a rough Irish one. The slightest hint of a Boston accent or southern twang makes me melt. Even Canadian accents or dialects from New England are beautiful. The slightest changes in the way letters roll off the lips contain both intriguing mystery and distinctive cultural identity.
I fall in love with clothing. A man who wears a suit and looks out of place is a picture of misplaced formality. A man that wears a suit and carries himself in a way that inspires confidence wears that suit correctly. A man who carries himself in this same confident way wearing a graphic tee and worn jeans is more sophisticated than a man forcing himself to wear a suit when he is not confident enough. Clothing of any kind, worn correctly on the right man, is irresistible.
I fall in love with scent. A man walks by and the slightest breeze is felt across the face, just enough to show that someone passed by. That slight breeze is filled with a scent that cannot be explained by any perfume company. It is not found in a bottle, body wash, or deodorant. Some men naturally smell intoxicatingly wonderful and it is awe inspiring.
I fall in love with lyrics. When a man sings of love and expresses feelings through song, those feelings are translated into the listener's own experiences and situations. The love and heartbreak found in the lyrics of love songs are reminders of hidden emotion. Those lyrics are reassurance that those emotions can be released freely without judgment, because everyone goes through them.
I fall in love with smiles. The way a man's cheeks move back to form lines that outline his mouth. Sometimes a few dimples form and the motion reveals a slight grin. The grin opens up to show teeth, often followed by a short chuckle or humored exhale. The playful expression emerging from a brooding face shows sensitivity behind tense, judgmental faces.
I fall in love with religious symbols. A cross hanging on a gold chain around a man's neck shows spirituality and commitment to faith. It represents the strength in a being greater than himself. It reflects the wearer's willingness to be humble and recognize what is more important than himself or his daily life.
I fall in love with teasing. A man that has a clever way of crafting playful insults and delivering them lightly with a smirk is attractive for his intelligence and wit. He is able to snidely comment in such a way that the recipient of it is not insulted, but is able to laugh along in the process.
I fall in love with confident mannerisms. A frankly stated comment in a deep, confident voice shows that the speaker is self-assured. Speaking in this dignified way inspires everyone who hears to view the speaker as a man of importance. It shows that he can inspire and lead. The confident voice accompanied by a charming smile shows a man that knows what he wants and needs.
I fall in love daily. I fall in love with sights, sounds, scents, and emotion. I fall in love with smiles, tears, songs, paintings, and people. I fall in love constantly, repeatedly, and unceasingly.
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