Dear Michael Rochester,

Anyone who knows me well knows that Jane Eyre is my absolute favorite book.  It is about feminism, independence, and love, all set in England.  Basically, Charlotte Brontë took all of my favorite subjects and wrapped them into one beautiful book.  I am a romantic who cannot get enough of the fictional autobiography.  My ideal man is a modified version of  Edward Rochester.  "Rochester" is my Astronaut Mike Dexter.  He is my ultimate man who cannot be possible, but if he was, I would marry him on the spot.  In summation, my perfect man would be a cross between Rochester and Michael Cera.  He would have the brooding face of Rochester but with a goofy smirk when humored like Cera.  He would know how to be quick witted but would have an adorable laugh.  He would be dignified, yet awkward.  Unfortunately, considering both men, he would not be attractive, but in all honesty, that does not matter at all to me.  I never really considered attractiveness part of my requirements for any men.  It is something that does not matter even a little to me.  If I can find a man who can make me laugh and be a passionate romantic who is as delightfully as awkward as I am, he can be the ugliest man alive because I will not care.  It seems cliché and insincere because it is what everyone claims until they actually come to considering dating someone very unattractive and find the idea unappealing.  I would actually not mind and I admit to having crushes on some ugly guys with wonderful personalities.  If there is a guy out there who meets my quirky requirements but happens to be extremely ugly, I cannot wait to meet you, because we will fall in love.
While my "perfect" man may not be possible, one can dream.  If I were to invent the perfect guy for me, he would have the previously mentioned qualities, and also a few others...
1. He would be Catholic.  I want someone of the same religion who shares the same values as me.  I believe that having the same religion as someone is very important because you will have similar values and be able to raise your children in that religion without any disagreements about what they should be taught about spirituality.
2. He would be healthy.  By this I mean that he would be physically active and eat healthy foods.  I believe that health is important and that it is a gift that should be preserved.  If one is blessed with good health, one should do their best to maintain it, and if one is less fortunate, they should do everything in their power to be as healthy as they can possibly be despite their circumstances
3. He would like the same music I like.  I have an odd palate when it comes to music but post-grunge alternative with some bubble-grunge mixed in as well as some new indie music mixed in seems to be the best way to describe my eclectic taste.  It has taken me years to find this perfect mix of music that I love, and I would love to share that with someone else.
4. He would be a cat person.  I will admit it, I am not a dog person.  The moment I mention this, it makes me seem like I am heartless and cruel because I do not love "man's best friend".  I dislike dogs for the same reason that people dislike cats: their personalities.  I like how independent cats are and while the friendliness of dogs is charming, I do not like it.  I also do not like their smell, fur, or drool.  My perfect man can be a dog person, but he must also be a cat person.
5. He would know how to make me laugh.  Who else loves deadpan, dry humor and Austin Powers style run-on puns?  Any takers?  My perfect man would need this style of humor mixed with wordplay, sarcasm, and witty comebacks.  I know this sense of humor when I see it, even though for the majority of the time, I only hear it from my own mouth.
6. He would have a job that he is passionate about.  I judge guys right now by their major and I assume that in a few years I will judge them by their jobs.  I want a guy who has a job he is passionate about that makes sense.  If I find a man who has a business degree, I want him to be passionate about his sales, the advertising, and his company.  I don't want him to sit at a desk answering phone calls in a monotone voice, depressed about his job.  If he wants to teach, I want him to engage his students in the course material and be passionate about their learning and success.  I don't want him to follow the curriculum and get the through the course with minimal effort.  If I find him working at the FDA where I intend to work, I want him to be actively working to make changes like I will be and to have a reason, like I do, to want to work in the industry.
7. He will want to explore the world around him.  He will have the desire to leave his surroundings for new experiences.  He will have left his hometown to go to college and want to explore other places.  He will want to travel and find new destinations in order to experience the world outside his backyard and he will see the importance of doing so to gain knowledge about other cultures.
8. He would be French or French Canadian.  Being an estimated 85% French Canadian with every grandparent having French Canadian roots, I would like someone who understands the quirks of that often undefined culture.  Someone who understands canning fresh vegetables from the garden in July.  Someone that eats pickles with their Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinners.  Someone that knows the importance of being able to bake anything from scratch, especially quiche, pies, and fluffy pastries.  Someone who understands my outwardly pessimistic world view even though I am generally optimistic.  Someone who avoids confrontation but knows how to end an argument and come to quick solutions peacefully.  I would need someone who understands my complex culture, because unlike other cultures that are stereotyped as loud or extreme, not many know about French Canadian culture.  We are the quiet ones and my perfect man would understand the quiet yet interesting background I come from.
9. He would want many kids and be the perfect father.  As I have said before, I know that I am born to be a mother and my children would need a perfect father.  I want at least four children and I would need a man who would want the same number or more.  I would need a man that was good with children, loving, and caring.  He would be patient and gentle with his children and be a natural parent.  He would have a fatherly personality to begin with and then find his purpose in life with the arrival of his children.

While not every quality on this list is possible, it is a basic outline for my perfect man.  If he met the majority of these, he would be "perfect" for me.  The perfect man is not possible, but I know I will find someone who is perfect for me.
In conclusion...
Dear Michael Rochester,
I know you are out there somewhere.  Feel free to find me whenever it is time.  I will love you so much when you come into my life.
Love, Jess

An Open Letter to 16 Year Old Jess

Dear Jess (or you prefer Jessica right now, don't you?),
There is so much I want to tell you and that I want to help you with.  You are so confused, so naive, and so dramatic.  I am still all three, but I have a little more experience to back it up.  There are a few things I would like to give you advice about, and I hope you really take them and pay attention to them.
1. Regarding that nerd you have attached to your hip: it is so easy to fall in love, but it is also perfectly normal to fall out of love.  It is a natural part of life and it does not mean you are a bad person or that you failed.  Everyone changes, but for now, enjoy yourself because you will have some wonderful memories.  Please just try not to take anything too seriously, because nobody ends up with their High School sweetheart.  This is a learning experience, so have fun, but please do not let yourself get too tied down.
2. Regarding everyone else you try your hardest to please: this is in reference to your peers.  In two years, there will only be two people from High School that you still talk to regularly.  Again, people change and relationships change, but the funny thing is that some people stay exactly the same.  Some people never developmentally leave High School.  Others feel way ahead of their peers, like you sure do.  In Middle School, you felt like you were at High School Maturity (and you were) and now you feel like you are at College Maturity.  Right now in college, I feel like I am at adult maturity, but it is alright because it is just who I am, and who you are.  So what I am trying to say is that you ARE more mature and you do understand life a lot better than you think you do and you certainly understand life better than the majority of your peers. Just remember that you unfortunately have to live in High School Land and deal with the drama that comes along with it.  Right now, you feel the need to please your peers in order to succeed, don't you?  While that is true to an extent, you need to focus a little less on pleasing them and a little more on finding success on your own.  Make more connections with your teachers because in the end, they are the ones that create opportunity for you.  As for the peers you try so hard to please, they are the ones that never leave High School Land.
3. Start your college search early.  I know it is very daunting and stressful, but start now.  Start visiting colleges now and get an idea of what you want because it will be even more stressful when you will have your deposit due in April 2013 and not even know where you are going to go in March 2013.  I can tell you right now that you will want to be far enough away that going home every weekend will be unreasonable, but it won't be too much of a pain to make the trip.
4. You are slightly behind in the technology game right now and you always have been.  Everyone got a laptop freshman year and a "real" phone in sixth grade.  Hate to break it to you, but unless you want to spend your own money on technology that will quickly become obsolete, you will just have to wait.  You will eventually be up to date on technology but it will just take a while.  Keep in mind, eighteen year old Jess is writing this from a laptop while checking her iPhone.  Also keep in mind that this Jess knows a lot of patience.
5. You are a huge advocate for positive body image right now and you will continue to be for many years.  You definitely are now and I can't see any of that changing.  I just want you to remember that no matter what, you are beautiful.  You are a nice little size six right now, but you will soon gain weight for seemingly no reason.  Just deal with it and try to be as healthy as you can.  Everything will work out in the end.  You will discover the secret to all your health problems and be able to fix them.  I would mention them to you now, however, figuring this out on your own will be a huge step for you and I can't just give that kind of knowledge away, can I?
6. Let your inner feminist out.  You are somewhat of a feminist but do not know it yet.  Don't let that nerd, your friends, society, or anybody else tell you any otherwise.  Do not let any sexist imbecile hold you back saying that feminism is stupid.  It most certainly is not and you will be able to find the happy medium between 1950's housewife and 1960's bra-burner.
7. Do not be afraid to wear your glasses.  You do not look bad in them.  You just need the right frames to work for your face and this century.  Again, you are beautiful no matter what (and it is a lot easier to see in your glasses than in your contacts).
8. You won't get that part in the play.  If you are wondering which one I am referring to, it is all except for one.  Yeah, I'm completely serious and it is absolutely ridiculous.  But don't worry about it because you are good at acting. You think you deserve those parts, and looking back, I know you deserved them too.  However, you will have that one part (in one of your favorite plays) and you will be amazing at it.
9. You will become one of your High School's superstars by your Senior year.  You will help dominate the school as every Senior class should. You are right to think "What will the school do when my class graduates?" because the 2013 Seniors do know the school better than anyone and they know how to keep traditions going better than any teachers or coaches do.  You will help carry those traditions, and remember that passing them onto Nicole is the best way to assure they will continue after you leave.
10. Finally, let yourself be happy.  You work so hard all the time and try to please everyone in your life.  While that is all well and good, you work to hard at it.  If there is just that one person you can't please, don't give them the time of day because they do not deserve it.  You deserve your happiness and the rewards that come along with hard work.  Be a leader and do your best to help everyone along the way, but do not waste your time helping people that do not help themselves.  Let yourself be happy and work to make that happen.  Do not get hung up on other people or perfection when it is unnecessary.  Just learn to live in the moment when it is appropriate because although the future comes quickly, you don't have any control over it.  You have never had control and you never will, so just live life and enjoy it for what it is.  Just be yourself, do your best, and be happy.
Love,
Jess

Why 2013 Was Actually Awful but Why I Choose to See the Silver Lining

Hey kids, time for a comprehensive list of all the parts of 2013 that were absolutely terrible aside from just the awful music that came out.  My life actually had a bunch of awful, stressful, and just plain bad events that happened.  For most of them, I am able to see them as a learning experience or something that can be turned around to be seen as something that is actually wonderful, but others were just horrible.  Unfortunately, nobody likes a pessimist.  Even my pessimistic jokes are not well received (I blame my audience) so I choose to see the silver lining whenever possible because I know it is what the people around me would like me to do.  I have always been a pessimist, and it is not because I am unhappy, but rather because I refuse to settle.  I am capable of being completely satisfied and happy, but I strive for perfection.  I would rather not lie to myself or anyone else by saying I am perfectly content when I am not, because although it will take a while, I eventually will be.  If I have even the slightest problem with something, I will fix it, because why settle when things could be better?  Why buy a phone case that anybody could have when you can order your own and make it perfectly geometrically symmetrical? Why listen to a song on Pandora if you have ten other stations that could have an even better song? Why buy a skirt if you might just be able to find a better one at a cheaper price?  Why take haphazard notes in class when they could be made color coded and orderly after class?  I am willing to go the extra mile to make things better, and I will go the extra mile to be optimistic about all the things that were awful about 2013 even though it would me much easier to be a pessimist.  So here it is, a list of everything that was terrible about 2013:

1. I Barely Read a Single Book
Alright, so this is not off to such a great start because I cannot possibly see anything good about not reading.  It was mostly due to the fact that I was extremely busy with getting ready for college and attending college as well as having a part time job.  By the time I actually have free time, I am too tired to focus on reading.  I promised myself I would read several books over Winter Break, but I have not even picked one up yet (which is pathetic on my part).  I remember telling people about the book I was "currently reading" last summer and it is still the book I am "currently reading".  So there's that... moving on...
2. I was Extremely Fat
I am going to come out and say how fat I actually was.  I, Jessica Bruso, will finally admit to the world just how bad I was.  At my heaviest, I weighed 163 pounds and was pushing the limits of my size 8 pants and owned a few pairs of pants and dresses in size 10.  The silver lining here is that I am no longer fat.  I have lost twenty five pounds and I am back in a size 6 where I belong.
3. I Had my Wisdom Teeth Extracted
This was extremely painful and my wisdom tooth caused me to get a cavity in one of my teeth that I have to have filled in a few weeks.  I guess the positive point in this is that the tooth with the cavity has no further damage than just that.
4. I Had to Make the Appointment for my Tonsillectomy
Technically, this will occur on the second of January 2014, but I felt the need to include it here because I suffered from my "cavernous" (as the doctor calls them) tonsils for years but 2013 was the year that they finally became so bad that removing them was deemed the only solution to the pain.  I guess the good parts are that I won't have nearly as much pain when I get colds and that it is technically happening in 2014. Technically.
5. I Have Celiac (Or Something Like It)
This was definitely the event of the year.  If my life were on the news, this would be considered "THE Story of The Year".  I can't eat anything at parties (last week at a Christmas party I only had vegetables with ranch and shrimp... for dinner).  I mostly dislike it because everywhere I go I have to be treated differently due to my dietary restrictions and nobody knows what I have so I have to explain it.  Then everyone gets sick of me talking about it because I do not realize when I am rambling or talking about it too much (because frankly, nobody cares about it but me).  Aside from the fact that I cannot eat anything, I did lose a lot of weight and I feel better than I ever have in my entire life.  Come to think of it, it is easier to see the bright side about this.
6. I am Single
To be completely honest, I AM happier now than I was when I was in a relationship.  The fact that I am single leaving 2013 but I was not when I entered it is somewhat sad to think about, though.  I now see how much happier I am, but in general, nobody wants to be alone.  However, I would rather be alone than be who I was with, but in general, I would not mind companionship.  I mean, who wouldn't?
7. I Had to Leave Home
It is a part of growing up, but moving away from my parents was extremely difficult.  It was terrible to say goodbye and see my mother cry.  I hated being away from them for so long and I already dread having to leave them again, even though it will only be for four weeks next time I go to college.  It makes me a stronger, more independent person, but honestly, I hate it.
8. In Summation, The Three Hardest Things I Have Ever Had to Do Occurred in 2013
The process of discovering I have Gluten Intolerance/making the switch to a gluten-free diet, dumping my first boyfriend, and leaving my parents were the hardest things I have ever had to do.  They all happened within the span of just a few months.  I guess in the end I am a stronger person.  I am definitely stronger than I ever have been.  I have learned how to manage my weight and my health as a result of learning about my Gluten Intolerance.  I have learned how to control my relationships by (finally) gathering the strength to leave someone that I was afraid to live without even though I was unhappy.  I learned how to take care of myself and all my responsibilities with nobody to give me reminders or encouragement.

With all things considered, 2013 was awful, and if I am being completely truthful, it was both the worst and best year of my life.  I lost everything and gained everything at the same time.  I lost all I knew and gained everything I now know.  I lost my securities and found my independence.  I lost my dependence on others for my happiness and learned how to be happy on my own.  I lost who I was and found who I am, and although that process was completely and utterly awful, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Some Questions on My Mind

Sometimes I feel like writing, but I have a complete lack of inspiration.  I will admit, sometimes I look up writing prompts online just to get the creative juices flowing.  I stumbled upon some particularly awful prompts this evening, but among those terrible results was a wonderful prompt that said "Begin a list of questions that you would like to have answered", and believe me, I have many, so here goes nothing.

1. Why is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls such a perfect song? It is relatable and beautiful in every single way and I do not know why I can't get over it, so why is it so perfect?
2. Why are people so unaware of gluten intolerance even though nearly seven percent of people have it?
3. Why do female celebrities feel the need to show off their naked bodies in order to gain more attention? Where is the feminism?
4. Why is it acceptable to say "I hate cats" but the minute I say "I hate dogs" I am the most heartless individual that has ever walked the planet?
5. Why did I spend so many of my younger years thinking that I was going to eventually become famous for my singing or acting ability which is, to be perfectly honest, no more than slightly above average in the acting department and extremely below mediocre in the singing department.  
6. Why do I have a brain built to be an English teacher yet the desire to be a Nutritionist for the FDA?
7. What is the deal with country music and the fact that people either have an extreme affinity for it or an extreme hatred for it but nothing in between?... Better question: Why does anyone like country music?
8. If every Christmas movie ever made discusses the issue of children not believing in Santa, how do no children think to themselves, "Why so much doubt? He must not be real."?
9. Why are States not more unified in their laws regarding taxes, driving, marriage, etc?
10. Why was I treated terribly for the final three months of my last relationship without realizing it? And how was I not strong enough before to realize it?
11. If I am embarrassed of who I was just six months ago, what will I think of my present self six months from now?
12. Can someone be a feminist and a Catholic?
13. Why do smart comedies like "Arrested Development" that use intelligently crafted puns and snarky remarks towards societal structure get taken off the air but idiotic shows such as "The Big Bang Theory" that rely on character bashing receive the best ratings year after year?
14. Why are comfortable clothes not more socially acceptable? Why can't I just always wear leggings to work?
15. At what age is it no longer acceptable to drink all liquids exclusively out of bendy straws?
16. How do people go and get tattoos and not be extremely fearful? There is no eraser, so what if the artist makes a mistake?
17. Why do I spend late nights blogging instead of sleeping?

Dear Carter, Carmen, Caleb, and Madeline...

I have known for a very long time that I was meant to be a mom. I have a very "mom" personality as described by many of my friends.  Here at college, I am the "suite mom".  I will talk to anyone about any problem and I always have some advice to give.  I have a CVS card and know what medicines to take when, what foods to eat for any ailment, and how to listen.  I am naturally inclined towards motherhood, and I often find myself looking forward to those days.  I am definitely not ready for that life now, but I know that I will enjoy it more than anything when it is time.  I know much more about my family life future than my career future.  Because of this, I decided to write a letter to my future children.  I would like to have four kids if I can, and possibly more, but for the meantime I plan on four.  I might look back on this and say, "Wow, I can't believe I actually wanted four!" shortly after giving birth to my first, but then again I might look back and say "Wow, I thought I would only have four".  I might also be surprised to see what I include on the list and what I do not, but I am going to write it anyway.  I would like to be able to look back on it and see what I thought at the age of eighteen and hopefully my children will enjoy it.  So here it is, my open letter to my future children.

Dear Carter, Carmen, Caleb, and Madeline,
I am currently at Merrimack College.  I am a freshman and it is 2013.  I am one week away from completing the final exams for my first semester and am currently procrastinating with studying by writing this letter.  Maybe I will always procrastinate or maybe I am alright by the time you read this, but you are probably thinking to yourselves, "yeah, that's Mom".
I am writing you this letter in order to tell you a little about what I am like right now, what I want for you, and some life lessons I would like to teach you right now.
First of all, as you know, I grew up in Vermont, where Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever you call them) probably still live.  I am now at Merrimack College in Massachusetts, which is three hours, or 140 miles away from them.  I originally entered college as a Biology major, but I recently switched into Health Science with a concentration in Nutrition and a Biology minor.  My dream is to become a dietitian and work for the FDA and change the way allergens are labeled on food.  My plan is to go to graduate school in Maryland.  Who knows, maybe I will change my major and maybe I won't be living in Maryland, but for now, that is the plan.
If you are wondering about Dad, then I have no idea how to answer your questions about that.  Maybe I met him already, maybe I didn't.  He could be someone I know, or I might not meet him for a few years.  He could be living in the same building I am in right now, or he could be in Maryland.  All I know is that I look forward to meeting him, or if I already know him, to finding out just how much more he can mean to me than he does right now.
My hope for you is that you are happy.  I hope more than anything that you approve of me as a mother.  I know I will be strict sometimes, but I hope that I know how to have fun and that you love me.  I hope that when you look back on your childhood you will think to yourselves, "she really knew what she was doing".  I am sure I have trouble figuring out how to deal with some situations or how to help you, but just remember, I am learning how to be a parent just as much as you are learning how to be a son/daughter.
I hope that I am financially secure enough to send you to a Catholic school.  Catholicism is very important to me and it always will be.  Yes, I have always been that way.  I go to church every week and so will you.  My biggest hope for you is that you are sincere in your commitment to the Catholic church when you are Confirmed.  I want more than anything for you to be Catholic.  You can lose a lot in this world.  You can have no money, no friends, and no family, but you will always have the love of God.  You can be completely lonely, but you will always have Him to pray to and to help you through the hard times.  Thank Him for what you have been blessed with and always keep Him in mind.
I also hope that you follow your Catholic values and remember to treat everyone with kindness, equality, and love.  My hope is that the world you live in is much different than mine right now.  I hope racism and sexism are concepts of the past.  I hope that the world is more accepting of than it has been during my childhood and teen years.  I hope that you live in a world that has taken great strides towards equality.
Speaking of which, I would like to let you know about gender equality.  Right now, gender inequality is an embarrassment to society.  Women are depicted by the media as no more than objects of desire.  Women are seen as less competent than men, and no matter how strong a woman is in this world, she will not be taken as seriously by society as a man would be. I hope more than anything that you live in a world of complete gender equality.
Additionally, to my daughters, I want you to never feel influenced by any advertisement, magazine, or image that objectifies women.  Right now, images are photo-shopped and edited to the point where the models do not even look like themselves.  Anorexic women are made to look even thinner, and sadly, that is the concept of "beautiful" in 2013 society.  I hope that it never gets worse than it is right now.
I want to tell you right now that you are beautiful.  If you are underweight, overweight, short, tall, have the wrong hair, have unclear skin, crooked teeth, or anything you are self-conscious about, you are beautiful.  You have a brain that you think for yourself with.  You solve problems, form opinions, and I hope, speak your minds.  You are so much more than what you look like, and inner beauty means more than any physical beauty.
To my sons, please realize this.  All women are beautiful and you need to treat them with respect.  They need to be seen as equals, and it starts with your everyday life.  This means no sexist jokes, no stereotypical thoughts, and no viewing women as anything less than men.  I am sure you have been raised to always see everyone as equal, but this is just another reminder.
I would also like to speak to you all about your health.  I hope that each of you is very healthy and is doing everything in your own power to stay as healthy as possible.  Please eat healthy food (I am sure I will be able to help with that) and exercise regularly. Your health is everything: please preserve it to the best of your ability.
I would also like to take this letter as an opportunity to give you some life lessons and advice.  My life, like all lives, is a cautionary tale.  I hope you are around my age when you read this, so hopefully some of this advice is relevant.

1. Your heart will be broken.  You might be in a relationship as you read this, or you might be single.  Maybe you have experienced heartbreak already or maybe you have yet to experience it.  I thought at your age that I would be able to go through life without it, but that is simply not true.  Even if you are lucky in love, you will still have your heart broken.  You might not get into your dream college.  You might not get a part in that play.  You might make the Varsity team in your favorite sport.  That does not mean that you are anything less than absolutely amazing.  You will face heartbreak after rejection and that is a part of life.  However, I want you to trust me when I say you can talk to me about this.  You can talk to me about anything.
2. You have to work hard.  You won't be handed much in life.  It probably seems like there is always that one person who gets everything they want in life with minimal effort.  It seems that way because it is true.  Some people don't have to work hard because they are born into an easy life.  You will gain much more life experience by having to work hard for it and you will feel much more accomplished.  Life is not fair, but if you work hard, you will have a much greater chance of getting what you want.
3. Play an instrument.  Music is a way to be creative and de-stress.  It gives you a break from the world around you and by learning how to play an instrument, you will gain a fun skill. 
4. Express yourself.  Use the instrument you learned how to play to show your feelings through music.  Write a blog, like I am right now (I am aware you are probably thinking "Wow Mom, a blog? Really?").  Write down your feelings and thoughts.  Write a poem, a song, an essay, or a novel.  Draw, paint, or sculpt.  Express your feelings and give yourself an excuse to procrastinate on something that is stressing you out (just not for too long, though).
5. Take any opportunity to explore the world around you.  If you are able to travel the world, I want you to take that opportunity in order to learn more about other cultures.  Even if you are just exploring where you live.  Explore the nature around you or explore your city.  Get to know your surroundings.  You should be proud of where you came from, even if you don't want to stay there.  I am very proud of being a Vermonter, but I don't want to go back.  Be proud of your roots, but always remember to explore the rest of the world whenever possible.
6. Go to college three hours away from home.  You want to be close enough to home that if you really need to, you can come back, but you won't be home every weekend.  Also, if you get a scholarship of a substantial amount, go to that school (even if it goes against the three hour away advice).  Just don't come home every weekend.  I love you, but you need to be completely independent for six weeks before you come home.  It is one of the hardest experiences I have ever gone through at this point in my life, but I am a stronger person because of it, and I want you to do it too.

I hope this letter gives you an idea about what I want for you and maybe it helps a little with some life advice.  I know more than anything that I am a natural mom, and maybe you feel like you are meant to be a parent too.  Maybe you have that "mom" or "dad" factor, and please embrace it.  Please be nurturing, give your best advice, and do your absolute to leave the world better than you found it.  I love you.

~Mom

P.S. Here are some random quick facts about me, and I hope you enjoy them

1. I played tennis and was a cheerleader in high school.
2. I have been doing plays since I was in third grade and I have not stopped yet.
3. I went to England with Aunt Nicole when I was sixteen years old.  That is a good story, ask me about it some time.
4. I absolutely love cats.  I aim to be a crazy cat lady, so I apologize for the amount of cats currently living in the house right now if it is more than two or three.
5. I currently work at Hannaford's as a cashier and have since June 2011.
6. I am currently eating gluten free.  I have gluten intolerance, and I hope to grow out of it, but I feel healthier than ever right now due to my diet change.
7. I love chocolate but I can't stand any type of "candy" that is fruity, sugary, chalky, or sticky.
8. I am a Red Sox fan and I will always will be.  My favorite sports to watch are baseball and hockey (and I go to all the hockey games at Merrimack).
9. My favorite color is red.
10. I love science, am terrible at math, and I am proficient in writing.
11. I love to cook and bake.  I am terrible at cooking but I am usually successful with baking. I have not managed to make the perfect grilled cheese yet, but my first attempt at baking cinnamon buns was perfect.
12. I get very nervous and anxious easily, but I am working on it
13. My favorite song right now is "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
14. My favorite food is sweet potato fries
15. I am an introvert and one of my favorite books is Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.  I would like you to read it. My absolute favorite book is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.  Read that one too. 

P.S.S. If you have no idea what you are doing right now, neither do I.  Pray and follow your heart.  Remember, you can always talk to me.

The Official Guide to My Sleepytime Playlist

I have a playlist that I have titled my "Sleepytime Playlist" because it is perfect to listen to before falling asleep.  It is of a perfect length including just ten songs, so if I end up falling asleep, my iPod will not lose power.  It is also long enough that it ensures that I will (hopefully) fall asleep before it ends.  This is one of the best methods I have found for trying to fall asleep because it is very calming music.  I compiled this list of songs that are perfect for falling asleep to.  Here it is:
1. A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
I love this song due to how it makes me feel as I listen to it.  I feel like I have been whisked away and placed in the middle of a dramatic fairytale.  It is a dynamic song with a wonderful beat.
2. 3 a.m. by Matchbox 20
This song is just amazing and has the perfect "early 2000's alternative rock" feel that I always go for.  Basically, if it would fit in being played as a transition on "Friends" I like it.  The song is also so quotable, especially any time I stay up until 3 in the morning (which is way more often than I would like to admit).  I don't always stay up until 3 a.m., but when I do, I scream "Baby! It's 3 a.m. I must be lonely!".  The song is soft and wonderful in every way, so I had to put it on my list.
3. Clumsy by Our Lady Peace
I would be lying if I said this song has never made me cry.  It has an acoustic feel with a piano intro.  I do not know exactly why I love this song or why it even makes me cry, but something about singing along when I feel emotional just makes me feel the feels even more.  It is a very wonderful song and it has a strong message, so I put it on my list.
4. Name by The Goo Goo Dolls
I have been really into the Goo Goo Dolls lately, mostly because I love this style of music.  I have known this song for years and it recently surfaced on my Pandora.  I heard it and I knew so many of the words without having heard it in a long time.  When that occurs with a song, I think it shows the connection you have with it.  It is also very acoustic, so it belongs on the list for musical reasons as well as sentimental reasons.
5. Round Here by Counting Crows
When I was about ten years old, I loved listening to some of the Counting Crows' faster paced, more upbeat music.  As I became older, I heard this song and I absolutely love it.  It has wonderful lyrics that tell a story and it has a section with interesting syncopation that is very unique and I just love.
6. Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band
This is yet another song that just has a wonderful acoustic sound and is very calming.  It opens with a guitar and has a baritone saxophone play which sounds absolutely beautiful.  Dave Matthews also has a very calming voice and is the Morgan Freeman of singing.  I could listen for hours and be intrigued, yet somehow it makes me feel very sleepy.
7. A Long December by Counting Crows
This is a very emotional song and I have cried while listening to it during emotional times.  It has a wonderful piano in the song that I have actually learned how to play because I enjoy it so much.  Its lyrics talk about how the year has been and gives off the general impression of sadness.  It is sad in a sense that it is not depressing or something anyone can relate to, but something that you could definitely sing along too with tears flowing down your cheeks and feel completely connected to the song.
8. Satellite by Dave Matthews Band
I love that this song has a wonderful acoustic beginning and saxophones playing a very staccato melody.  I also, again, love Dave Matthew's voice.  However, my favorite part of the song is that it is in 3/4 time.  One two three, one two three, one two three... I love it so much.  I have never heard a song that was this way that was not a waltz.  This is certainly the only "modern" song I know that is in 3/4 time and I love how unique it is for that.
9. Romeo and Juliet by The Killers
This is a very beautiful song that has a wonderful story.  It tells the classic "Romeo and Juliet" story and brings it into a modern context, while still keeping some "quotes" from Shakespeare (it is a paraphrased version, so basically the same thing, right?).  I believe my favorite is, "He finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade, says something like, 'You and me babe, how 'bout it?'".  This quote is in direct competition for my favorite with "You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, now you just say 'Oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him" and "I can't do anything, but I'll do anything for you.  I can't do anything but be in love with you".  This song is just perfect to listen to and fall asleep to.
10. Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls
Just thinking about this song brings tears to my eyes.  This is my favorite song at the moment.  It is so beautiful and has such a powerful message to it.  I love the soft-rock feel from the alternative band.  The intro just triggers my tear ducts.  "And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow" is just perfect in every way.  I feel that this can be related to any situation in love, whether it be long term, long distance, or even just a crush you fall hard for.  My absolute favorite is "And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming".  I have found that there are times that I should be a lot more sad than I feel, or at least I think that I should be more sad..  Going through my first break-up was extremely hard.  I am not going to lie to myself or anyone else and say I was not in love or that I did not feel the way I thought I did.  I will not deny for a second that I thought everything would work out in the end.  However, I was caught up in the love that I felt and it caused me to ignore everything that was wrong.  It hurt a lot, but I ended the relationship because the hurt started to become more prominent than the love.  While listening to this song, I felt that "You can't fight the tears that ain't coming" was absolutely perfect for my situation.  I thought that after losing the love that I had and watching what I put so much time and emotion into fall apart, I would be much more sad than I was.  I thought I would be inconsolable for weeks and be hurting so much, but I really was not.  This song helped me so much.  I realized that "when everything's made to be broken" I want the world "to know who I am".  I do not want the world thinking that I am nothing but an ex-girlfriend who spends her time crying.  In fact, what I did was not let that stop me.  I was inspired to become a better version of myself.  I lost ten pounds, I tried even harder in school, became closer with my friends, and reorganized my life.  For me, "Iris" is so much more than a song.  It represents who I became after I became single.  I found myself and I found out how I can be awesome on my own.  "Iris" is the perfect ending to my "Sleepytime Playlist" because it reminds me of how far I have come and how far I am going in such a wonderfully beautiful way.

A Personality Makeover, and a New Look to Match

Lately I have been making so many changes in my life that I am finding it hard to really even keep track.  I am quite obviously now gluten-free and can/do go on and on talking about that.  I am also newly (by about two months now) single and it is an interesting new way to live (frankly, I like it a lot).  I also just changed my major and declared one minor (plans fell through with the Sports Medicine minor because it is in the Health Science department).
Among these changes, I have made some physical changes.  Since becoming gluten-free and losing twenty pounds, I have had a hard time adjusting.  Six months ago I would have said "boo-hoo" to anyone who said losing weight quickly in a healthy way was a problem, but I understand the struggle.  Frankly, it was weird.  I was not ready and not expecting it to happen.  It was just a surprising perk of fixing nearly every health problem that had plagued me for years.
I lost a lot of clothing due to the transition.  I bought new pants recently and I was told by my roommate that they look ridiculously big on me. I can no longer wear those, as well as a few skirts and all my dress pants that I bought over the course of the last year.  I also have a few dresses that are too large, even one that I bought just this June.  When I received a t-shirt from the play, I told them I needed a medium, but they looked at me and said "No, you look like a small".  Due to this shift in my body size and type, I am going to try to sell my old clothes to a thrift store for teens.  I will invest the money I get from the transaction in a few belts, some new staples (such as a new black pencil skirt) and a few pairs of jeans that actually fit.
This brings me to Friday.  On Friday, there is a "Black and White" dance being put on here.  I will get dressed up and go, but what to wear?  I was going to wear a dress I bought six weeks ago, but it shrunk and is now way too short, something I find extremely frustrating.  I have my white dress from graduation, but it is now too big.  I tried on my black pencil skirt, figuring I could just pull it up, but instead it nearly fell off my hips.  I am not complaining that I am small, but I am saying that the lack of time I had to shop before coming to college (and the lack of money) was not healthy for my wardrobe.
As I was about to give up, I pulled a dress I bought in February for a Semi-Formal in High School out of my closet in a reminiscent fashion.  It has a red top and an attached black "skirt" part.  I had not worn it in nearly a year, but I decided to just try it on.
Putting on the dress felt amazing.  I look so much better in it now than I did in February.  I felt so satisfied pulling it over my hips and not having it fit nearly as tight as it did last time.  There were no fat rolls or awkward places that should not have been there.  I felt confident, attractive, and beautiful.
I plan on wearing that dress with a pair of high heels and my new hair.  My roommates have been encouraging me and telling me to change my hair.  I have always worn my hair parted down the middle at medium length.  They told me that I should change this up by parting it to the side.  It was not until I did a trial-run of my hair for Friday that I realized how much better the side-part looks on me.  I did this, put in my contacts, then had them curl my hair and do my makeup.  After that transformation, I felt so confident looking in the mirror.  I decided that I should make this my new "look" and I will start it on Friday.
On Friday I will don that amazing dress, style my hair parted to the side with curls, put on eye shadow, wear my contacts, and step into those heels.  I will show everyone here how I can look when I put in some effort and decide to show my inner confidence on the outside through my appearance.
All in all, the changes I have made have changed who I am as a person, and frankly, I feel that since I have changed so much over the last four months, my look needs to change too.  I am becoming so much more "me" and I love everything about that. So look out world, Jess is thin, single, healthy, happy, and more confident than she ever has been.  Just wait and see what happens next.

Phrases I Live By: A Guide to My Mantras

Whenever I find myself in a situation that is stressful, I have three mantras to live by.  Actually, I use the three mantras for nearly every situation where I find myself questioning what to do.  I feel that having mantras to guide myself by are important because they can help me stay calm and collected.
I can have terrible anxiety and I find myself in awkward social situations due to it.  I have found that creating these mantras has helped me to deal with life because they help me focus on the stress I deal with and put everything into perspective as well as help change my attitude and outlook on what is going on.
The first of my mantras is my oldest.  I have been using it for over a year now and I have found that it works very well.  This mantra, which is phrased as a question, has helped me through many situations.  It is "Will this matter in ten years?".  This has helped me to put my priorities into place, helped anger melt away, and helped me when I felt that I was being treated with less respect than I should be.  For example, when I was applying to college, I had a lot of schoolwork and other extracurricular responsibilities, so I would ask myself "Will this matter in ten years?".  When the situation was something such as looking at colleges or filling out the Common Application, the answer was "yes", so I continued what I was doing and took a deep breath.  However, when the answer was "no" I would let the stress go away because if it had nothing to do with my future, why bother?
Sometimes people tried to use the mantra against me.  I told them about it and they thought it was ridiculous.  When I would get stressed about something small, they would jokingly ask "Will it matter in ten years?".  While they were being sarcastic, I took the statement seriously and by verbally stating this mantra, they often helped me to realize when I was overreacting and that I just needed to let the small things go.
This mantra helps me a lot in college.  When I have a lot on my plate and I have to focus, I ask myself "Will it matter in ten years?".  For example, when I went to change my major and I was extremely nervous about doing so, I asked myself that question.  It gave me the motivation to go and talk to the professors I had never met in the building I had never been in before because I knew that I would regret not doing so in ten years.  "Will this matter in ten years?" is one of my favorite questions and my oldest mantra.
My second mantra also has to do with stress.  It is a quote from my favorite book Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.  I could go on for hours about why this is my favorite book and why every woman should read it, but that is aside from the point.  My second mantra is the quote, "Life appears to me too short to be spent nursing animosity and registering wrongs".  I tend to become stressed very easily and it often causes me to become angry at everyone around me.  If I am stressed and someone wrongs me or otherwise does something to make me mad, I recite this mantra.  It helps me put everything into perspective.  If I spend my time thinking about the way that someone has hurt me or dwell on why I should dislike them, I am wasting my time.  I do not forget what they have done to me, but to spend time thinking about it is to give them the time of day.  It is a waste, in my opinion, to spend time even thinking about someone who has hurt you because you could use that time focusing on the positive people in your life instead.  This is my second mantra because it helps anger melt away.
My final mantra is my favorite and it is "Natural Smile, Soft Eyes".  I have a tendency to have an angry resting face.  When I am thinking or I am not reacting to anything, I tend to look like I am upset.  I also have problems with my eyesight which sometimes cause me to squint my eyes, especially when I am wearing contacts.  I use this mantra to show the positive attitude I really have towards the world.  I try to smile naturally, because I often feel that the smile I have when I think about it seems fake.  I want to be genuine and not overcompensate for my naturally angry look.  I also try to have soft eyes because I will often squint or not open my eyes completely.  I can also have judgmental eyes at times that have a way of giving condescending looks.  By keeping this mantra in mind, I feel that I am able to more often express my inward happiness instead of my naturally indifferent and sometimes angry face.
I feel that my life has been greatly improved by my mantras.  They give me perspective and help me to think clearly.  Whenever I find myself questioning what I am doing or why I am stressed, I go through the three mantras and one of them will bring me to a solution.  If it will not matter in ten years and I have given up being angry, then "Natural Smile, Soft Eyes".
I recommend coming up with mantras to everyone because it can help increase your focus and put everything into perspective.  So will it matter in ten years? Should you really be nursing animosity and registering wrongs? Natural Smile, Soft Eyes.

Living With Celiac, or Something Like It

I barely knew what Celiac Disease was before a few months ago.  I did not have a complete understanding of gluten either.  I thought that gluten was something in bread and anything delicious and that Celiac Disease was this mystery that went along with not being able to enjoy that delicious, gluten-containing food.  I have worked at a grocery store for over two years and I saw the lack of gluten-free foods.  When I saw the shortage of available food, it made me thankful to not have to eat it.  The bread was small and did not seem normal.  The pizza cost seven dollars more than regular pizza.  The pancake mix was five dollars for a bag half the size of a normal bag.  I knew that it was definitely something that nobody, or their wallet, would ever want.
For as long as I can remember, I have had stomach problems.  I would get stomachaches after eating, I would feel nauseous when I was nervous, and as a child, I missed a lot of school and activities due to these issues.  I would also have a lot of brain fog and find myself feeling faint or being unable to think straight for no apparent reason.
As I entered my teen years, the symptoms continued.  Every day after lunch, I felt sick.  It became so familiar to me that I did not think twice about it.  I nearly fell asleep in my classes after lunch and I would sometimes go home due to how nauseated I would become.  I always saw these symptoms as being something normal and part of who I am.  I never thought much of them, until they got worse during April of my Senior year.
My symptoms became increasingly worse over the course of my Senior year, but in April, I really started to investigate what these bizarre symptoms were caused by.  It was then that I noticed that the symptoms were induced immediately after every time I ate.  I thought that one possibility was Diabetes.   I thought that it was spikes in blood sugar that caused my body to feel like it was shutting down when I ate food.  However, when that crossed my mind, I did not think it was possible that it would take seventeen years for me to figure that out.
Another problem was with the fact that I was gaining a lot of weight.  I never a skinny person, but I was always on the verge of becoming overweight.  My Senior year, I crossed into that overweight category.  I gained nearly fifteen pounds.  I could not figure out what was going on and it was very frustrating.  I never had great eating habits and I figured that they must have just been catching up with me as I got older.
I finally discovered what the problem was on July 11, 2013. I had an extreme "gluten attack" or "Celiac attack" as I call such events now.  I ate a granola bar at about 10 p.m. (like I said, I did not have the best dietary habits) and at 12:30 am, it hit me.  I was the only person in the house that was awake and I was lying in my bed.  I was paralyzed with pain and unable to even communicate that I was hurting.  I considered calling the house phone from my cell phone because I could barely speak.  My dad walked by because he woke up in the middle of the night, and I managed to get his attention.
When he saw me, he asked if I needed to go to the emergency room.  I was unsure what was happening, but at this point, I could move.  I decided to not go and to try to sleep again, but I was worried.  It did not make me feel sick, but the pain was barely tolerable.  I was crying and sweating from what can easily be described as the most physical pain I have ever experienced in my entire life.
I decided, once the pain was over, to do some research.  I stumbled upon gluten intolerance.  I saw the symptoms and my symptoms matched nearly everything on the list.  I had the nauseated feeling after eating, the brain fog, the extreme fatigue, and the pain.  I gained weight and I felt sick nearly every day.  There was a name for what I had experienced my entire life.  It was Celiac Disease... or something like it.
That morning, I began my gluten-free diet.  I went to the grocery store and bought gluten-free bread, gluten-free pasta, and plenty of naturally gluten-free snacks such as hummus, that were safe for me to eat.  Slowly, the symptoms went away.  The sick feeling I always had was gone.
After going gluten-free for three weeks, I had a routine doctor's appointment.  I outlined for them every symptom that they had not been able to diagnose (even as a child when they did some stomach screenings) and how everything was gone.  I had energy, I did not feel sick, I thought clearly, I would not shake after eating, and I lost ten pounds.  It was a relief to finally know what it was... sort of.
I was told that I might have Celiac Disease, the more severe version of gluten intolerance.  Gluten intolerance occurs in six percent of people and it is a general sensitivity to gluten.  A few of my friends with gluten intolerance are able to have small amounts of gluten and remain unharmed.  Celiac Disease is more severe, with smaller amounts effecting the victim to an even greater extent, and only one percent of the general population has this.  I figured that I must have Celiac Disease, because as little as a few crumbs worth of bread or even salad dressing containing maltodexterin (my nemesis) in it will cause me to have a full reaction.  I did not get tested because I did not want to go through the process.  It includes taking a sample of digestive villi which requires having a tube down the throat and removing parts of the stomach as well as several points in the small intestine.  It requires a lot of time and it is sometimes inconclusive, so I was officially diagnosed with gluten-intolerance, but the possibility of Celiac Disease was acknowledged.
I was told that the best thing I could do was stay on a strict gluten-free diet.  I have been on this diet for four months now and I have been feeling better than ever.  I have none of the symptoms and only experience them when I accidentally eat gluten.  I have clearer skin, I do not feel nauseated, I think clearly, and best of all, I have lost nearly twenty five pounds.  I feel better than I ever have in my entire life.
My hope is that everyone in my shoes pays attention to their symptoms and realizes that they do not have to live with the sickness and the pain.  I hope that they see that the way they feel is not normal and that something as simple as changing their diet can help.  I hope to be able to raise awareness through the story of my discovery in order to hopefully help someone notice that they have something wrong and that there is something they can do about it.

Walk That Catwalk

Auditioning for the musical after being at college for only two weeks was not exactly what I had in mind, but as we all know, theater people have a way with words and can be very convincing.  Such is the life of a girl who has always found enjoyment in acting.  Maybe it is the fact that for some time, even if for only a few moments, you can pretend to be something you are not.  You can become anything you want to be with a personality that is completely different from your own.  I have found that the more time I spend pushing myself out of my comfort zone, the more I discover who I am.  This has been the natural flow of my life since I started acting in plays when I was seven years old.  Eleven years later and I still enjoy theater as much as I did when I acted in my first play in a second grade classroom. Unfortunately, I have a problem with my singing voice.
I cannot sing in the least sense.  My voice cracks and my roommates joke about my inability to sing and incapability of remembering the words when I do choose to grace them with my melodious serenades. I came to terms with this years ago, but some think that I use my "inability" as an excuse to not sing in front of people... until they hear me.
I was talked into auditioning for "Little Shop of Horrors" in September.  Needless to say, I did not do well.  In the director's words, the song I sung was "a difficult song to do".  I could read right through his sugar-coated rejection.  I do not know how or why I got talked into auditioning, because I knew from the beginning that I wanted to do the makeup for the show anyway.
Fast-forward to mid-November and you have me going to my first rehearsal with only three days until the first show.  I signed up for makeup, however, nothing ever goes according to plan in the theater.  We take on different roles and sign up without thinking and become way more invested in it than we originally plan.  I once signed up to help kids with some improvisation at a Theater Camp and ended up doing the lighting for their production. C'est la vie.
I was approached within my first twenty minutes being at the practice by the actor in charge of props and he asked me if I was afraid of heights.  My response was a hesitant "I guess not" which was followed by "follow me".  I ascended a spiral staircase that was tighter than a dance recital french braid.  I climbed the steep behemoth he called a staircase and approached the catwalk.  Walking out onto the metal platform for the first time caused me to shake and fear falling.  I was completely aware of my safety but unaware of what I got myself into.  I was now in charge of dropping large leaf-covered plant "tentacles" from a height nearly three stories above everything. When I went up for the second time, I was able to do so with much less anxiety and I had no problem looking down.  I did not shake and I enjoyed the interesting view.  My fear had suddenly disappeared as I approached it with confidence and strength.
I believe that it is safe to say that I am officially over my fear of heights.  I managed to climb up the stairs two times and drop large tentacles over the side while looking down the entire time.  Part of pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone involves overcoming fears.  I definitely did that today.  If I was told this morning that I would fearlessly conquer walking across and standing on the catwalk for a prolonged amount of time, I would probably respond with an immediate "not in this lifetime".  If I can get over my fears within the span of a few hours of play practice, I can't wait to see what else I can do. Maybe I will adopt a tarantula.

Defending My Decision to the Board of Parents

After being diagnosed with gluten intolerance a month and a half before starting college, I was having trouble adjusting.  I could easily go on about how hard it is to live with such an unusual disease, the mystery of not knowing if it truly is Celiac or just an intolerance to gluten in general, and how being in college with it, especially with so little experience, is extremely difficult.  Unfortunately, I have been forced to adapt and I have gone through several painful gluten exposures (Celiac attacks as I like to call them) and many trial-and-error experiences since being diagnosed.
I believe that the beginning of this story starts with the fact that I have gone through too many major changes in my life, so consequently, I decided to change my Major.
My first change was going gluten free.  I fortunately lost nearly twenty five pounds and went from being overweight to normal weight.  I am now too thin for the pants I bought when I was fifteen, and to be able to say that is the best feeling in the world because I struggled with my weight, along with the unbearable and painful symptoms of gluten intolerance/Celiac, for many years.
The second change was deciding to end my three-year long relationship with my last boyfriend.  He was my first love and things went very well for quite some time, but people grow apart and we both changed and became very different people.  I am not sad about that fact.  I understand now that things would never have worked out if we had stayed together.  We are not the same people that we were when we were fifteen (even though I still wear the same jeans).  I hope that one day he finds someone that makes him as happy as he made me when we were in high school, because he deserves it.
My final change was moving over three hours away from my small town in the middle of Vermont to Merrimack College, a wonderful school just miles from Boston.  Adjusting to this change has been hard and leaving my parents and my sister was definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I entered college as a Biology Major.  In all honesty, I really did not think it through, which is very unusual for me.  I knew I had to make a decision on what to major in, so I decided to go with a science (a field I have always loved) and do a Pre-Med track.  It was probably  about the second day of college that I decided I did not want to be a Biology Major.  I saw that Health Science was a major that was offered and I started to look into it.
After dealing with undiagnosed gluten intolerance for many years and making the transition to a 100% gluten free diet, I knew the joy of finally feeling healthy, something I have arguably never felt, at least not to the degree that I do now.  I want everyone to feel as healthy and as wonderful as I do now. Everyone deserves to feel this wonderful. I want to help anyone who deals with dietary problems like because it is just awful to go through and I would like to aid them in the transition to a healthier lifestyle if I can.
I decided to change my major to Health Science with a Nutrition concentration and I declared two minors in Biology and Sports Medicine.  Although it is a mouthful and sounds complicated, I am very excited and very sure about what I am doing. I did a lot of research about it and I know it is exactly what I want to do.  I told my mother and she said that it was a good idea... last week.
Today on Skype with my parents, I was grilled about my change of Major and what I wanted to do with my life.  I was told that I cannot move back to Vermont with the job I will have and I will not make enough money if I live near a city, even though a city is one of the only places where I will be able to get a job.  My parents told me that I need to think about the long-term.
Before this conversation, I never thought about much longer than the next five years.  I thought that I would finish my degree at Merrimack, then go to UVM for my Master's degree and find a job in Burlington, Vermont.  When my mother told me I need to stay near Boston, I was surprised.  I love Vermont and I miss it.  My mother told me that I really need to change my mind, because a job in my field in Vermont will only bring me to Burlington, and I will never find any other connections if I stay there.
After this heartbreaking news, I had to defend my decision to my father.  He told me not to quickly decide on such a massive life change.  I had been considering changing my major for a month before I told anyone.  I then spent the next month asking nearly everyone what they thought.  I asked my friends that are Health Science majors what they thought I should do.  I went to the Career Center, spoke to peers, and did hours of research on jobs, salaries, graduate programs, and nearly everything that had to do with Health Science.  I decided that I want to be a Registered Dietitian.  Maybe I will work in a Nursing Home, possibly for a Hospital, but hopefully for the FDA because I want to change the requirements on allergen warnings in order to help people like me with gluten intolerance understand easily what is safe to eat.  I put many hours of investigation into the decision and I am very confident in the change.
I defended this decision to my father in a lengthy explanation of almost half an hour.  Moreover, I went on to explain why I chose a Biology minor (I will only have to take one extra class total to establish one, so it makes sense) which he supported, but explaining my Sports Medicine minor was much more difficult.  I had to explain that because exercise is such a huge component of general health, it goes well with Nutrition and how I felt that having this as a minor would help me with competition for jobs.  I had to defend all these decisions and make both parents understand that I am completely aware of the fact that there is risk involved the major I am choosing and with going for a job that does not have guaranteed employment.
I understand why they needed this explanation.  I justified it with myself nearly hundreds of times in my mind before telling anyone, and another hundred times after that.  I made the decision based on talking to nearly anyone who would listen.  I asked everyone in the Health Science field what they thought of their classes, their professors, and their future.  Everyone I tell about my change of Major encourages me, but my parents were the only ones who were hesitant to become as excited as I get just thinking about it.
The bottom line is, I know that they are concerned for me.  I will be making a salary that is not above average.  I will probably struggle financially.  However, I will work extremely hard and I will be the best that I possibly can be.
I know the struggle of living with food intolerance and I know what it is like to try to find out how to do it without any help from those with experience.  My parents did their best and were supportive, but being as inexperienced as I was, could not do much to help other than help cook my separate meals.  My doctor gave me a sheet of paper saying what foods I could not eat, but nobody ever really tells me what I can.  I want to help people understand what they can eat.
In conclusion, I want to get through these major transitions and help others get through transitions as well.  Everyone has to grow up and leave their parents.  Everyone gets their heart broken.  Everyone has their medical conditions they have to deal with.  I had to do all three at once, which in the end makes me a stronger person, but these last few months have been very difficult.  I think that now that I have a plan, I will help people like me, and hopefully enjoy myself while doing so.