Auditioning for the musical after being at college for only two weeks was not exactly what I had in mind, but as we all know, theater people have a way with words and can be very convincing. Such is the life of a girl who has always found enjoyment in acting. Maybe it is the fact that for some time, even if for only a few moments, you can pretend to be something you are not. You can become anything you want to be with a personality that is completely different from your own. I have found that the more time I spend pushing myself out of my comfort zone, the more I discover who I am. This has been the natural flow of my life since I started acting in plays when I was seven years old. Eleven years later and I still enjoy theater as much as I did when I acted in my first play in a second grade classroom. Unfortunately, I have a problem with my singing voice.
I cannot sing in the least sense. My voice cracks and my roommates joke about my inability to sing and incapability of remembering the words when I do choose to grace them with my melodious serenades. I came to terms with this years ago, but some think that I use my "inability" as an excuse to not sing in front of people... until they hear me.
I was talked into auditioning for "Little Shop of Horrors" in September. Needless to say, I did not do well. In the director's words, the song I sung was "a difficult song to do". I could read right through his sugar-coated rejection. I do not know how or why I got talked into auditioning, because I knew from the beginning that I wanted to do the makeup for the show anyway.
Fast-forward to mid-November and you have me going to my first rehearsal with only three days until the first show. I signed up for makeup, however, nothing ever goes according to plan in the theater. We take on different roles and sign up without thinking and become way more invested in it than we originally plan. I once signed up to help kids with some improvisation at a Theater Camp and ended up doing the lighting for their production. C'est la vie.
I was approached within my first twenty minutes being at the practice by the actor in charge of props and he asked me if I was afraid of heights. My response was a hesitant "I guess not" which was followed by "follow me". I ascended a spiral staircase that was tighter than a dance recital french braid. I climbed the steep behemoth he called a staircase and approached the catwalk. Walking out onto the metal platform for the first time caused me to shake and fear falling. I was completely aware of my safety but unaware of what I got myself into. I was now in charge of dropping large leaf-covered plant "tentacles" from a height nearly three stories above everything. When I went up for the second time, I was able to do so with much less anxiety and I had no problem looking down. I did not shake and I enjoyed the interesting view. My fear had suddenly disappeared as I approached it with confidence and strength.
I believe that it is safe to say that I am officially over my fear of heights. I managed to climb up the stairs two times and drop large tentacles over the side while looking down the entire time. Part of pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone involves overcoming fears. I definitely did that today. If I was told this morning that I would fearlessly conquer walking across and standing on the catwalk for a prolonged amount of time, I would probably respond with an immediate "not in this lifetime". If I can get over my fears within the span of a few hours of play practice, I can't wait to see what else I can do. Maybe I will adopt a tarantula.
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