Anyone who knows me well knows that Jane Eyre is my absolute favorite book. It is about feminism, independence, and love, all set in England. Basically, Charlotte Brontë took all of my favorite subjects and wrapped them into one beautiful book. I am a romantic who cannot get enough of the fictional autobiography. My ideal man is a modified version of Edward Rochester. "Rochester" is my Astronaut Mike Dexter. He is my ultimate man who cannot be possible, but if he was, I would marry him on the spot. In summation, my perfect man would be a cross between Rochester and Michael Cera. He would have the brooding face of Rochester but with a goofy smirk when humored like Cera. He would know how to be quick witted but would have an adorable laugh. He would be dignified, yet awkward. Unfortunately, considering both men, he would not be attractive, but in all honesty, that does not matter at all to me. I never really considered attractiveness part of my requirements for any men. It is something that does not matter even a little to me. If I can find a man who can make me laugh and be a passionate romantic who is as delightfully as awkward as I am, he can be the ugliest man alive because I will not care. It seems cliché and insincere because it is what everyone claims until they actually come to considering dating someone very unattractive and find the idea unappealing. I would actually not mind and I admit to having crushes on some ugly guys with wonderful personalities. If there is a guy out there who meets my quirky requirements but happens to be extremely ugly, I cannot wait to meet you, because we will fall in love.
While my "perfect" man may not be possible, one can dream. If I were to invent the perfect guy for me, he would have the previously mentioned qualities, and also a few others...
1. He would be Catholic. I want someone of the same religion who shares the same values as me. I believe that having the same religion as someone is very important because you will have similar values and be able to raise your children in that religion without any disagreements about what they should be taught about spirituality.
2. He would be healthy. By this I mean that he would be physically active and eat healthy foods. I believe that health is important and that it is a gift that should be preserved. If one is blessed with good health, one should do their best to maintain it, and if one is less fortunate, they should do everything in their power to be as healthy as they can possibly be despite their circumstances
3. He would like the same music I like. I have an odd palate when it comes to music but post-grunge alternative with some bubble-grunge mixed in as well as some new indie music mixed in seems to be the best way to describe my eclectic taste. It has taken me years to find this perfect mix of music that I love, and I would love to share that with someone else.
4. He would be a cat person. I will admit it, I am not a dog person. The moment I mention this, it makes me seem like I am heartless and cruel because I do not love "man's best friend". I dislike dogs for the same reason that people dislike cats: their personalities. I like how independent cats are and while the friendliness of dogs is charming, I do not like it. I also do not like their smell, fur, or drool. My perfect man can be a dog person, but he must also be a cat person.
5. He would know how to make me laugh. Who else loves deadpan, dry humor and Austin Powers style run-on puns? Any takers? My perfect man would need this style of humor mixed with wordplay, sarcasm, and witty comebacks. I know this sense of humor when I see it, even though for the majority of the time, I only hear it from my own mouth.
6. He would have a job that he is passionate about. I judge guys right now by their major and I assume that in a few years I will judge them by their jobs. I want a guy who has a job he is passionate about that makes sense. If I find a man who has a business degree, I want him to be passionate about his sales, the advertising, and his company. I don't want him to sit at a desk answering phone calls in a monotone voice, depressed about his job. If he wants to teach, I want him to engage his students in the course material and be passionate about their learning and success. I don't want him to follow the curriculum and get the through the course with minimal effort. If I find him working at the FDA where I intend to work, I want him to be actively working to make changes like I will be and to have a reason, like I do, to want to work in the industry.
7. He will want to explore the world around him. He will have the desire to leave his surroundings for new experiences. He will have left his hometown to go to college and want to explore other places. He will want to travel and find new destinations in order to experience the world outside his backyard and he will see the importance of doing so to gain knowledge about other cultures.
8. He would be French or French Canadian. Being an estimated 85% French Canadian with every grandparent having French Canadian roots, I would like someone who understands the quirks of that often undefined culture. Someone who understands canning fresh vegetables from the garden in July. Someone that eats pickles with their Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinners. Someone that knows the importance of being able to bake anything from scratch, especially quiche, pies, and fluffy pastries. Someone who understands my outwardly pessimistic world view even though I am generally optimistic. Someone who avoids confrontation but knows how to end an argument and come to quick solutions peacefully. I would need someone who understands my complex culture, because unlike other cultures that are stereotyped as loud or extreme, not many know about French Canadian culture. We are the quiet ones and my perfect man would understand the quiet yet interesting background I come from.
9. He would want many kids and be the perfect father. As I have said before, I know that I am born to be a mother and my children would need a perfect father. I want at least four children and I would need a man who would want the same number or more. I would need a man that was good with children, loving, and caring. He would be patient and gentle with his children and be a natural parent. He would have a fatherly personality to begin with and then find his purpose in life with the arrival of his children.
While not every quality on this list is possible, it is a basic outline for my perfect man. If he met the majority of these, he would be "perfect" for me. The perfect man is not possible, but I know I will find someone who is perfect for me.
In conclusion...
Dear Michael Rochester,
I know you are out there somewhere. Feel free to find me whenever it is time. I will love you so much when you come into my life.
Love, Jess
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
An Open Letter to 16 Year Old Jess
Dear Jess (or you prefer Jessica right now, don't you?),
There is so much I want to tell you and that I want to help you with. You are so confused, so naive, and so dramatic. I am still all three, but I have a little more experience to back it up. There are a few things I would like to give you advice about, and I hope you really take them and pay attention to them.
1. Regarding that nerd you have attached to your hip: it is so easy to fall in love, but it is also perfectly normal to fall out of love. It is a natural part of life and it does not mean you are a bad person or that you failed. Everyone changes, but for now, enjoy yourself because you will have some wonderful memories. Please just try not to take anything too seriously, because nobody ends up with their High School sweetheart. This is a learning experience, so have fun, but please do not let yourself get too tied down.
2. Regarding everyone else you try your hardest to please: this is in reference to your peers. In two years, there will only be two people from High School that you still talk to regularly. Again, people change and relationships change, but the funny thing is that some people stay exactly the same. Some people never developmentally leave High School. Others feel way ahead of their peers, like you sure do. In Middle School, you felt like you were at High School Maturity (and you were) and now you feel like you are at College Maturity. Right now in college, I feel like I am at adult maturity, but it is alright because it is just who I am, and who you are. So what I am trying to say is that you ARE more mature and you do understand life a lot better than you think you do and you certainly understand life better than the majority of your peers. Just remember that you unfortunately have to live in High School Land and deal with the drama that comes along with it. Right now, you feel the need to please your peers in order to succeed, don't you? While that is true to an extent, you need to focus a little less on pleasing them and a little more on finding success on your own. Make more connections with your teachers because in the end, they are the ones that create opportunity for you. As for the peers you try so hard to please, they are the ones that never leave High School Land.
3. Start your college search early. I know it is very daunting and stressful, but start now. Start visiting colleges now and get an idea of what you want because it will be even more stressful when you will have your deposit due in April 2013 and not even know where you are going to go in March 2013. I can tell you right now that you will want to be far enough away that going home every weekend will be unreasonable, but it won't be too much of a pain to make the trip.
4. You are slightly behind in the technology game right now and you always have been. Everyone got a laptop freshman year and a "real" phone in sixth grade. Hate to break it to you, but unless you want to spend your own money on technology that will quickly become obsolete, you will just have to wait. You will eventually be up to date on technology but it will just take a while. Keep in mind, eighteen year old Jess is writing this from a laptop while checking her iPhone. Also keep in mind that this Jess knows a lot of patience.
5. You are a huge advocate for positive body image right now and you will continue to be for many years. You definitely are now and I can't see any of that changing. I just want you to remember that no matter what, you are beautiful. You are a nice little size six right now, but you will soon gain weight for seemingly no reason. Just deal with it and try to be as healthy as you can. Everything will work out in the end. You will discover the secret to all your health problems and be able to fix them. I would mention them to you now, however, figuring this out on your own will be a huge step for you and I can't just give that kind of knowledge away, can I?
6. Let your inner feminist out. You are somewhat of a feminist but do not know it yet. Don't let that nerd, your friends, society, or anybody else tell you any otherwise. Do not let any sexist imbecile hold you back saying that feminism is stupid. It most certainly is not and you will be able to find the happy medium between 1950's housewife and 1960's bra-burner.
7. Do not be afraid to wear your glasses. You do not look bad in them. You just need the right frames to work for your face and this century. Again, you are beautiful no matter what (and it is a lot easier to see in your glasses than in your contacts).
8. You won't get that part in the play. If you are wondering which one I am referring to, it is all except for one. Yeah, I'm completely serious and it is absolutely ridiculous. But don't worry about it because you are good at acting. You think you deserve those parts, and looking back, I know you deserved them too. However, you will have that one part (in one of your favorite plays) and you will be amazing at it.
9. You will become one of your High School's superstars by your Senior year. You will help dominate the school as every Senior class should. You are right to think "What will the school do when my class graduates?" because the 2013 Seniors do know the school better than anyone and they know how to keep traditions going better than any teachers or coaches do. You will help carry those traditions, and remember that passing them onto Nicole is the best way to assure they will continue after you leave.
10. Finally, let yourself be happy. You work so hard all the time and try to please everyone in your life. While that is all well and good, you work to hard at it. If there is just that one person you can't please, don't give them the time of day because they do not deserve it. You deserve your happiness and the rewards that come along with hard work. Be a leader and do your best to help everyone along the way, but do not waste your time helping people that do not help themselves. Let yourself be happy and work to make that happen. Do not get hung up on other people or perfection when it is unnecessary. Just learn to live in the moment when it is appropriate because although the future comes quickly, you don't have any control over it. You have never had control and you never will, so just live life and enjoy it for what it is. Just be yourself, do your best, and be happy.
Love,
Jess
There is so much I want to tell you and that I want to help you with. You are so confused, so naive, and so dramatic. I am still all three, but I have a little more experience to back it up. There are a few things I would like to give you advice about, and I hope you really take them and pay attention to them.
1. Regarding that nerd you have attached to your hip: it is so easy to fall in love, but it is also perfectly normal to fall out of love. It is a natural part of life and it does not mean you are a bad person or that you failed. Everyone changes, but for now, enjoy yourself because you will have some wonderful memories. Please just try not to take anything too seriously, because nobody ends up with their High School sweetheart. This is a learning experience, so have fun, but please do not let yourself get too tied down.
2. Regarding everyone else you try your hardest to please: this is in reference to your peers. In two years, there will only be two people from High School that you still talk to regularly. Again, people change and relationships change, but the funny thing is that some people stay exactly the same. Some people never developmentally leave High School. Others feel way ahead of their peers, like you sure do. In Middle School, you felt like you were at High School Maturity (and you were) and now you feel like you are at College Maturity. Right now in college, I feel like I am at adult maturity, but it is alright because it is just who I am, and who you are. So what I am trying to say is that you ARE more mature and you do understand life a lot better than you think you do and you certainly understand life better than the majority of your peers. Just remember that you unfortunately have to live in High School Land and deal with the drama that comes along with it. Right now, you feel the need to please your peers in order to succeed, don't you? While that is true to an extent, you need to focus a little less on pleasing them and a little more on finding success on your own. Make more connections with your teachers because in the end, they are the ones that create opportunity for you. As for the peers you try so hard to please, they are the ones that never leave High School Land.
3. Start your college search early. I know it is very daunting and stressful, but start now. Start visiting colleges now and get an idea of what you want because it will be even more stressful when you will have your deposit due in April 2013 and not even know where you are going to go in March 2013. I can tell you right now that you will want to be far enough away that going home every weekend will be unreasonable, but it won't be too much of a pain to make the trip.
4. You are slightly behind in the technology game right now and you always have been. Everyone got a laptop freshman year and a "real" phone in sixth grade. Hate to break it to you, but unless you want to spend your own money on technology that will quickly become obsolete, you will just have to wait. You will eventually be up to date on technology but it will just take a while. Keep in mind, eighteen year old Jess is writing this from a laptop while checking her iPhone. Also keep in mind that this Jess knows a lot of patience.
5. You are a huge advocate for positive body image right now and you will continue to be for many years. You definitely are now and I can't see any of that changing. I just want you to remember that no matter what, you are beautiful. You are a nice little size six right now, but you will soon gain weight for seemingly no reason. Just deal with it and try to be as healthy as you can. Everything will work out in the end. You will discover the secret to all your health problems and be able to fix them. I would mention them to you now, however, figuring this out on your own will be a huge step for you and I can't just give that kind of knowledge away, can I?
6. Let your inner feminist out. You are somewhat of a feminist but do not know it yet. Don't let that nerd, your friends, society, or anybody else tell you any otherwise. Do not let any sexist imbecile hold you back saying that feminism is stupid. It most certainly is not and you will be able to find the happy medium between 1950's housewife and 1960's bra-burner.
7. Do not be afraid to wear your glasses. You do not look bad in them. You just need the right frames to work for your face and this century. Again, you are beautiful no matter what (and it is a lot easier to see in your glasses than in your contacts).
8. You won't get that part in the play. If you are wondering which one I am referring to, it is all except for one. Yeah, I'm completely serious and it is absolutely ridiculous. But don't worry about it because you are good at acting. You think you deserve those parts, and looking back, I know you deserved them too. However, you will have that one part (in one of your favorite plays) and you will be amazing at it.
9. You will become one of your High School's superstars by your Senior year. You will help dominate the school as every Senior class should. You are right to think "What will the school do when my class graduates?" because the 2013 Seniors do know the school better than anyone and they know how to keep traditions going better than any teachers or coaches do. You will help carry those traditions, and remember that passing them onto Nicole is the best way to assure they will continue after you leave.
10. Finally, let yourself be happy. You work so hard all the time and try to please everyone in your life. While that is all well and good, you work to hard at it. If there is just that one person you can't please, don't give them the time of day because they do not deserve it. You deserve your happiness and the rewards that come along with hard work. Be a leader and do your best to help everyone along the way, but do not waste your time helping people that do not help themselves. Let yourself be happy and work to make that happen. Do not get hung up on other people or perfection when it is unnecessary. Just learn to live in the moment when it is appropriate because although the future comes quickly, you don't have any control over it. You have never had control and you never will, so just live life and enjoy it for what it is. Just be yourself, do your best, and be happy.
Love,
Jess
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Why 2013 Was Actually Awful but Why I Choose to See the Silver Lining
Hey kids, time for a comprehensive list of all the parts of 2013 that were absolutely terrible aside from just the awful music that came out. My life actually had a bunch of awful, stressful, and just plain bad events that happened. For most of them, I am able to see them as a learning experience or something that can be turned around to be seen as something that is actually wonderful, but others were just horrible. Unfortunately, nobody likes a pessimist. Even my pessimistic jokes are not well received (I blame my audience) so I choose to see the silver lining whenever possible because I know it is what the people around me would like me to do. I have always been a pessimist, and it is not because I am unhappy, but rather because I refuse to settle. I am capable of being completely satisfied and happy, but I strive for perfection. I would rather not lie to myself or anyone else by saying I am perfectly content when I am not, because although it will take a while, I eventually will be. If I have even the slightest problem with something, I will fix it, because why settle when things could be better? Why buy a phone case that anybody could have when you can order your own and make it perfectly geometrically symmetrical? Why listen to a song on Pandora if you have ten other stations that could have an even better song? Why buy a skirt if you might just be able to find a better one at a cheaper price? Why take haphazard notes in class when they could be made color coded and orderly after class? I am willing to go the extra mile to make things better, and I will go the extra mile to be optimistic about all the things that were awful about 2013 even though it would me much easier to be a pessimist. So here it is, a list of everything that was terrible about 2013:
1. I Barely Read a Single Book
Alright, so this is not off to such a great start because I cannot possibly see anything good about not reading. It was mostly due to the fact that I was extremely busy with getting ready for college and attending college as well as having a part time job. By the time I actually have free time, I am too tired to focus on reading. I promised myself I would read several books over Winter Break, but I have not even picked one up yet (which is pathetic on my part). I remember telling people about the book I was "currently reading" last summer and it is still the book I am "currently reading". So there's that... moving on...
2. I was Extremely Fat
I am going to come out and say how fat I actually was. I, Jessica Bruso, will finally admit to the world just how bad I was. At my heaviest, I weighed 163 pounds and was pushing the limits of my size 8 pants and owned a few pairs of pants and dresses in size 10. The silver lining here is that I am no longer fat. I have lost twenty five pounds and I am back in a size 6 where I belong.
3. I Had my Wisdom Teeth Extracted
This was extremely painful and my wisdom tooth caused me to get a cavity in one of my teeth that I have to have filled in a few weeks. I guess the positive point in this is that the tooth with the cavity has no further damage than just that.
4. I Had to Make the Appointment for my Tonsillectomy
Technically, this will occur on the second of January 2014, but I felt the need to include it here because I suffered from my "cavernous" (as the doctor calls them) tonsils for years but 2013 was the year that they finally became so bad that removing them was deemed the only solution to the pain. I guess the good parts are that I won't have nearly as much pain when I get colds and that it is technically happening in 2014. Technically.
5. I Have Celiac (Or Something Like It)
This was definitely the event of the year. If my life were on the news, this would be considered "THE Story of The Year". I can't eat anything at parties (last week at a Christmas party I only had vegetables with ranch and shrimp... for dinner). I mostly dislike it because everywhere I go I have to be treated differently due to my dietary restrictions and nobody knows what I have so I have to explain it. Then everyone gets sick of me talking about it because I do not realize when I am rambling or talking about it too much (because frankly, nobody cares about it but me). Aside from the fact that I cannot eat anything, I did lose a lot of weight and I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. Come to think of it, it is easier to see the bright side about this.
6. I am Single
To be completely honest, I AM happier now than I was when I was in a relationship. The fact that I am single leaving 2013 but I was not when I entered it is somewhat sad to think about, though. I now see how much happier I am, but in general, nobody wants to be alone. However, I would rather be alone than be who I was with, but in general, I would not mind companionship. I mean, who wouldn't?
7. I Had to Leave Home
It is a part of growing up, but moving away from my parents was extremely difficult. It was terrible to say goodbye and see my mother cry. I hated being away from them for so long and I already dread having to leave them again, even though it will only be for four weeks next time I go to college. It makes me a stronger, more independent person, but honestly, I hate it.
8. In Summation, The Three Hardest Things I Have Ever Had to Do Occurred in 2013
The process of discovering I have Gluten Intolerance/making the switch to a gluten-free diet, dumping my first boyfriend, and leaving my parents were the hardest things I have ever had to do. They all happened within the span of just a few months. I guess in the end I am a stronger person. I am definitely stronger than I ever have been. I have learned how to manage my weight and my health as a result of learning about my Gluten Intolerance. I have learned how to control my relationships by (finally) gathering the strength to leave someone that I was afraid to live without even though I was unhappy. I learned how to take care of myself and all my responsibilities with nobody to give me reminders or encouragement.
With all things considered, 2013 was awful, and if I am being completely truthful, it was both the worst and best year of my life. I lost everything and gained everything at the same time. I lost all I knew and gained everything I now know. I lost my securities and found my independence. I lost my dependence on others for my happiness and learned how to be happy on my own. I lost who I was and found who I am, and although that process was completely and utterly awful, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
1. I Barely Read a Single Book
Alright, so this is not off to such a great start because I cannot possibly see anything good about not reading. It was mostly due to the fact that I was extremely busy with getting ready for college and attending college as well as having a part time job. By the time I actually have free time, I am too tired to focus on reading. I promised myself I would read several books over Winter Break, but I have not even picked one up yet (which is pathetic on my part). I remember telling people about the book I was "currently reading" last summer and it is still the book I am "currently reading". So there's that... moving on...
2. I was Extremely Fat
I am going to come out and say how fat I actually was. I, Jessica Bruso, will finally admit to the world just how bad I was. At my heaviest, I weighed 163 pounds and was pushing the limits of my size 8 pants and owned a few pairs of pants and dresses in size 10. The silver lining here is that I am no longer fat. I have lost twenty five pounds and I am back in a size 6 where I belong.
3. I Had my Wisdom Teeth Extracted
This was extremely painful and my wisdom tooth caused me to get a cavity in one of my teeth that I have to have filled in a few weeks. I guess the positive point in this is that the tooth with the cavity has no further damage than just that.
4. I Had to Make the Appointment for my Tonsillectomy
Technically, this will occur on the second of January 2014, but I felt the need to include it here because I suffered from my "cavernous" (as the doctor calls them) tonsils for years but 2013 was the year that they finally became so bad that removing them was deemed the only solution to the pain. I guess the good parts are that I won't have nearly as much pain when I get colds and that it is technically happening in 2014. Technically.
5. I Have Celiac (Or Something Like It)
This was definitely the event of the year. If my life were on the news, this would be considered "THE Story of The Year". I can't eat anything at parties (last week at a Christmas party I only had vegetables with ranch and shrimp... for dinner). I mostly dislike it because everywhere I go I have to be treated differently due to my dietary restrictions and nobody knows what I have so I have to explain it. Then everyone gets sick of me talking about it because I do not realize when I am rambling or talking about it too much (because frankly, nobody cares about it but me). Aside from the fact that I cannot eat anything, I did lose a lot of weight and I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. Come to think of it, it is easier to see the bright side about this.
6. I am Single
To be completely honest, I AM happier now than I was when I was in a relationship. The fact that I am single leaving 2013 but I was not when I entered it is somewhat sad to think about, though. I now see how much happier I am, but in general, nobody wants to be alone. However, I would rather be alone than be who I was with, but in general, I would not mind companionship. I mean, who wouldn't?
7. I Had to Leave Home
It is a part of growing up, but moving away from my parents was extremely difficult. It was terrible to say goodbye and see my mother cry. I hated being away from them for so long and I already dread having to leave them again, even though it will only be for four weeks next time I go to college. It makes me a stronger, more independent person, but honestly, I hate it.
8. In Summation, The Three Hardest Things I Have Ever Had to Do Occurred in 2013
The process of discovering I have Gluten Intolerance/making the switch to a gluten-free diet, dumping my first boyfriend, and leaving my parents were the hardest things I have ever had to do. They all happened within the span of just a few months. I guess in the end I am a stronger person. I am definitely stronger than I ever have been. I have learned how to manage my weight and my health as a result of learning about my Gluten Intolerance. I have learned how to control my relationships by (finally) gathering the strength to leave someone that I was afraid to live without even though I was unhappy. I learned how to take care of myself and all my responsibilities with nobody to give me reminders or encouragement.
With all things considered, 2013 was awful, and if I am being completely truthful, it was both the worst and best year of my life. I lost everything and gained everything at the same time. I lost all I knew and gained everything I now know. I lost my securities and found my independence. I lost my dependence on others for my happiness and learned how to be happy on my own. I lost who I was and found who I am, and although that process was completely and utterly awful, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Some Questions on My Mind
Sometimes I feel like writing, but I have a complete lack of inspiration. I will admit, sometimes I look up writing prompts online just to get the creative juices flowing. I stumbled upon some particularly awful prompts this evening, but among those terrible results was a wonderful prompt that said "Begin a list of questions that you would like to have answered", and believe me, I have many, so here goes nothing.
- Why is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls such a perfect song? It is relatable and beautiful in every single way and I do not know why I can't get over it, so why is it so perfect?
- Why are people so unaware of gluten intolerance even though nearly seven percent of people have it?
- Why do female celebrities feel the need to show off their naked bodies in order to gain more attention? Where is the feminism?
- Why is it acceptable to say "I hate cats" but the minute I say "I hate dogs" I am the most heartless individual that has ever walked the planet?
- Why did I spend so many of my younger years thinking that I was going to eventually become famous for my singing or acting ability which is, to be perfectly honest, no more than slightly above average in the acting department and extremely below mediocre in the singing department.
- Why do I have a brain built to be an English teacher yet the desire to be a Nutritionist for the FDA?
- What is the deal with country music and the fact that people either have an extreme affinity for it or an extreme hatred for it but nothing in between?... Better question: Why does anyone like country music?
- If every Christmas movie ever made discusses the issue of children not believing in Santa, how do no children think to themselves, "Why so much doubt? He must not be real."?
- Why are States not more unified in their laws regarding taxes, driving, marriage, etc?
- Why was I treated terribly for the final three months of my last relationship without realizing it? And how was I not strong enough before to realize it?
- If I am embarrassed of who I was just six months ago, what will I think of my present self six months from now?
- Can someone be a feminist and a Catholic?
- Why do smart comedies like "Arrested Development" that use intelligently crafted puns and snarky remarks towards societal structure get taken off the air but idiotic shows such as "The Big Bang Theory" that rely on character bashing receive the best ratings year after year?
- Why are comfortable clothes not more socially acceptable? Why can't I just always wear leggings to work?
- At what age is it no longer acceptable to drink all liquids exclusively out of bendy straws?
- How do people go and get tattoos and not be extremely fearful? There is no eraser, so what if the artist makes a mistake?
- Why do I spend late nights blogging instead of sleeping?
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Dear Carter, Carmen, Caleb, and Madeline...
I have known for a very long time that I was meant to be a mom. I have a very "mom" personality as described by many of my friends. Here at college, I am the "suite mom". I will talk to anyone about any problem and I always have some advice to give. I have a CVS card and know what medicines to take when, what foods to eat for any ailment, and how to listen. I am naturally inclined towards motherhood, and I often find myself looking forward to those days. I am definitely not ready for that life now, but I know that I will enjoy it more than anything when it is time. I know much more about my family life future than my career future. Because of this, I decided to write a letter to my future children. I would like to have four kids if I can, and possibly more, but for the meantime I plan on four. I might look back on this and say, "Wow, I can't believe I actually wanted four!" shortly after giving birth to my first, but then again I might look back and say "Wow, I thought I would only have four". I might also be surprised to see what I include on the list and what I do not, but I am going to write it anyway. I would like to be able to look back on it and see what I thought at the age of eighteen and hopefully my children will enjoy it. So here it is, my open letter to my future children.
Dear Carter, Carmen, Caleb, and Madeline,
I am currently at Merrimack College. I am a freshman and it is 2013. I am one week away from completing the final exams for my first semester and am currently procrastinating with studying by writing this letter. Maybe I will always procrastinate or maybe I am alright by the time you read this, but you are probably thinking to yourselves, "yeah, that's Mom".
I am writing you this letter in order to tell you a little about what I am like right now, what I want for you, and some life lessons I would like to teach you right now.
First of all, as you know, I grew up in Vermont, where Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever you call them) probably still live. I am now at Merrimack College in Massachusetts, which is three hours, or 140 miles away from them. I originally entered college as a Biology major, but I recently switched into Health Science with a concentration in Nutrition and a Biology minor. My dream is to become a dietitian and work for the FDA and change the way allergens are labeled on food. My plan is to go to graduate school in Maryland. Who knows, maybe I will change my major and maybe I won't be living in Maryland, but for now, that is the plan.
If you are wondering about Dad, then I have no idea how to answer your questions about that. Maybe I met him already, maybe I didn't. He could be someone I know, or I might not meet him for a few years. He could be living in the same building I am in right now, or he could be in Maryland. All I know is that I look forward to meeting him, or if I already know him, to finding out just how much more he can mean to me than he does right now.
My hope for you is that you are happy. I hope more than anything that you approve of me as a mother. I know I will be strict sometimes, but I hope that I know how to have fun and that you love me. I hope that when you look back on your childhood you will think to yourselves, "she really knew what she was doing". I am sure I have trouble figuring out how to deal with some situations or how to help you, but just remember, I am learning how to be a parent just as much as you are learning how to be a son/daughter.
I hope that I am financially secure enough to send you to a Catholic school. Catholicism is very important to me and it always will be. Yes, I have always been that way. I go to church every week and so will you. My biggest hope for you is that you are sincere in your commitment to the Catholic church when you are Confirmed. I want more than anything for you to be Catholic. You can lose a lot in this world. You can have no money, no friends, and no family, but you will always have the love of God. You can be completely lonely, but you will always have Him to pray to and to help you through the hard times. Thank Him for what you have been blessed with and always keep Him in mind.
I also hope that you follow your Catholic values and remember to treat everyone with kindness, equality, and love. My hope is that the world you live in is much different than mine right now. I hope racism and sexism are concepts of the past. I hope that the world is more accepting of than it has been during my childhood and teen years. I hope that you live in a world that has taken great strides towards equality.
Speaking of which, I would like to let you know about gender equality. Right now, gender inequality is an embarrassment to society. Women are depicted by the media as no more than objects of desire. Women are seen as less competent than men, and no matter how strong a woman is in this world, she will not be taken as seriously by society as a man would be. I hope more than anything that you live in a world of complete gender equality.
Additionally, to my daughters, I want you to never feel influenced by any advertisement, magazine, or image that objectifies women. Right now, images are photo-shopped and edited to the point where the models do not even look like themselves. Anorexic women are made to look even thinner, and sadly, that is the concept of "beautiful" in 2013 society. I hope that it never gets worse than it is right now.
I want to tell you right now that you are beautiful. If you are underweight, overweight, short, tall, have the wrong hair, have unclear skin, crooked teeth, or anything you are self-conscious about, you are beautiful. You have a brain that you think for yourself with. You solve problems, form opinions, and I hope, speak your minds. You are so much more than what you look like, and inner beauty means more than any physical beauty.
To my sons, please realize this. All women are beautiful and you need to treat them with respect. They need to be seen as equals, and it starts with your everyday life. This means no sexist jokes, no stereotypical thoughts, and no viewing women as anything less than men. I am sure you have been raised to always see everyone as equal, but this is just another reminder.
I would also like to speak to you all about your health. I hope that each of you is very healthy and is doing everything in your own power to stay as healthy as possible. Please eat healthy food (I am sure I will be able to help with that) and exercise regularly. Your health is everything: please preserve it to the best of your ability.
I would also like to take this letter as an opportunity to give you some life lessons and advice. My life, like all lives, is a cautionary tale. I hope you are around my age when you read this, so hopefully some of this advice is relevant.
P.S. Here are some random quick facts about me, and I hope you enjoy them
Dear Carter, Carmen, Caleb, and Madeline,
I am currently at Merrimack College. I am a freshman and it is 2013. I am one week away from completing the final exams for my first semester and am currently procrastinating with studying by writing this letter. Maybe I will always procrastinate or maybe I am alright by the time you read this, but you are probably thinking to yourselves, "yeah, that's Mom".
I am writing you this letter in order to tell you a little about what I am like right now, what I want for you, and some life lessons I would like to teach you right now.
First of all, as you know, I grew up in Vermont, where Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever you call them) probably still live. I am now at Merrimack College in Massachusetts, which is three hours, or 140 miles away from them. I originally entered college as a Biology major, but I recently switched into Health Science with a concentration in Nutrition and a Biology minor. My dream is to become a dietitian and work for the FDA and change the way allergens are labeled on food. My plan is to go to graduate school in Maryland. Who knows, maybe I will change my major and maybe I won't be living in Maryland, but for now, that is the plan.
If you are wondering about Dad, then I have no idea how to answer your questions about that. Maybe I met him already, maybe I didn't. He could be someone I know, or I might not meet him for a few years. He could be living in the same building I am in right now, or he could be in Maryland. All I know is that I look forward to meeting him, or if I already know him, to finding out just how much more he can mean to me than he does right now.
My hope for you is that you are happy. I hope more than anything that you approve of me as a mother. I know I will be strict sometimes, but I hope that I know how to have fun and that you love me. I hope that when you look back on your childhood you will think to yourselves, "she really knew what she was doing". I am sure I have trouble figuring out how to deal with some situations or how to help you, but just remember, I am learning how to be a parent just as much as you are learning how to be a son/daughter.
I hope that I am financially secure enough to send you to a Catholic school. Catholicism is very important to me and it always will be. Yes, I have always been that way. I go to church every week and so will you. My biggest hope for you is that you are sincere in your commitment to the Catholic church when you are Confirmed. I want more than anything for you to be Catholic. You can lose a lot in this world. You can have no money, no friends, and no family, but you will always have the love of God. You can be completely lonely, but you will always have Him to pray to and to help you through the hard times. Thank Him for what you have been blessed with and always keep Him in mind.
I also hope that you follow your Catholic values and remember to treat everyone with kindness, equality, and love. My hope is that the world you live in is much different than mine right now. I hope racism and sexism are concepts of the past. I hope that the world is more accepting of than it has been during my childhood and teen years. I hope that you live in a world that has taken great strides towards equality.
Speaking of which, I would like to let you know about gender equality. Right now, gender inequality is an embarrassment to society. Women are depicted by the media as no more than objects of desire. Women are seen as less competent than men, and no matter how strong a woman is in this world, she will not be taken as seriously by society as a man would be. I hope more than anything that you live in a world of complete gender equality.
Additionally, to my daughters, I want you to never feel influenced by any advertisement, magazine, or image that objectifies women. Right now, images are photo-shopped and edited to the point where the models do not even look like themselves. Anorexic women are made to look even thinner, and sadly, that is the concept of "beautiful" in 2013 society. I hope that it never gets worse than it is right now.
I want to tell you right now that you are beautiful. If you are underweight, overweight, short, tall, have the wrong hair, have unclear skin, crooked teeth, or anything you are self-conscious about, you are beautiful. You have a brain that you think for yourself with. You solve problems, form opinions, and I hope, speak your minds. You are so much more than what you look like, and inner beauty means more than any physical beauty.
To my sons, please realize this. All women are beautiful and you need to treat them with respect. They need to be seen as equals, and it starts with your everyday life. This means no sexist jokes, no stereotypical thoughts, and no viewing women as anything less than men. I am sure you have been raised to always see everyone as equal, but this is just another reminder.
I would also like to speak to you all about your health. I hope that each of you is very healthy and is doing everything in your own power to stay as healthy as possible. Please eat healthy food (I am sure I will be able to help with that) and exercise regularly. Your health is everything: please preserve it to the best of your ability.
I would also like to take this letter as an opportunity to give you some life lessons and advice. My life, like all lives, is a cautionary tale. I hope you are around my age when you read this, so hopefully some of this advice is relevant.
- Your heart will be broken. You might be in a relationship as you read this, or you might be single. Maybe you have experienced heartbreak already or maybe you have yet to experience it. I thought at your age that I would be able to go through life without it, but that is simply not true. Even if you are lucky in love, you will still have your heart broken. You might not get into your dream college. You might not get a part in that play. You might make the Varsity team in your favorite sport. That does not mean that you are anything less than absolutely amazing. You will face heartbreak after rejection and that is a part of life. However, I want you to trust me when I say you can talk to me about this. You can talk to me about anything.
- You have to work hard. You won't be handed much in life. It probably seems like there is always that one person who gets everything they want in life with minimal effort. It seems that way because it is true. Some people don't have to work hard because they are born into an easy life. You will gain much more life experience by having to work hard for it and you will feel much more accomplished. Life is not fair, but if you work hard, you will have a much greater chance of getting what you want.
- Play an instrument. Music is a way to be creative and de-stress. It gives you a break from the world around you and by learning how to play an instrument, you will gain a fun skill.
- Express yourself. Use the instrument you learned how to play to show your feelings through music. Write a blog, like I am right now (I am aware you are probably thinking "Wow Mom, a blog? Really?"). Write down your feelings and thoughts. Write a poem, a song, an essay, or a novel. Draw, paint, or sculpt. Express your feelings and give yourself an excuse to procrastinate on something that is stressing you out (just not for too long, though).
- Take any opportunity to explore the world around you. If you are able to travel the world, I want you to take that opportunity in order to learn more about other cultures. Even if you are just exploring where you live. Explore the nature around you or explore your city. Get to know your surroundings. You should be proud of where you came from, even if you don't want to stay there. I am very proud of being a Vermonter, but I don't want to go back. Be proud of your roots, but always remember to explore the rest of the world whenever possible.
- Go to college three hours away from home. You want to be close enough to home that if you really need to, you can come back, but you won't be home every weekend. Also, if you get a scholarship of a substantial amount, go to that school (even if it goes against the three hour away advice). Just don't come home every weekend. I love you, but you need to be completely independent for six weeks before you come home. It is one of the hardest experiences I have ever gone through at this point in my life, but I am a stronger person because of it, and I want you to do it too.
I hope this letter gives you an idea about what I want for you and maybe it helps a little with some life advice. I know more than anything that I am a natural mom, and maybe you feel like you are meant to be a parent too. Maybe you have that "mom" or "dad" factor, and please embrace it. Please be nurturing, give your best advice, and do your absolute to leave the world better than you found it. I love you.
~Mom
P.S. Here are some random quick facts about me, and I hope you enjoy them
- I played tennis and was a cheerleader in high school.
- I have been doing plays since I was in third grade and I have not stopped yet.
- I went to England with Aunt Nicole when I was sixteen years old. That is a good story, ask me about it some time.
- I absolutely love cats. I aim to be a crazy cat lady, so I apologize for the amount of cats currently living in the house right now if it is more than two or three.
- I currently work at Hannaford's as a cashier and have since June 2011.
- I am currently eating gluten free. I have gluten intolerance, and I hope to grow out of it, but I feel healthier than ever right now due to my diet change.
- I love chocolate but I can't stand any type of "candy" that is fruity, sugary, chalky, or sticky.
- I am a Red Sox fan and I will always will be. My favorite sports to watch are baseball and hockey (and I go to all the hockey games at Merrimack).
- My favorite color is red.
- I love science, am terrible at math, and I am proficient in writing.
- I love to cook and bake. I am terrible at cooking but I am usually successful with baking. I have not managed to make the perfect grilled cheese yet, but my first attempt at baking cinnamon buns was perfect.
- I get very nervous and anxious easily, but I am working on it
- My favorite song right now is "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
- My favorite food is sweet potato fries
- I am an introvert and one of my favorite books is Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. I would like you to read it. My absolute favorite book is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Read that one too.
P.S.S. If you have no idea what you are doing right now, neither do I. Pray and follow your heart. Remember, you can always talk to me.
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