Dear Jess (or you prefer Jessica right now, don't you?),
There is so much I want to tell you and that I want to help you with. You are so confused, so naive, and so dramatic. I am still all three, but I have a little more experience to back it up. There are a few things I would like to give you advice about, and I hope you really take them and pay attention to them.
1. Regarding that nerd you have attached to your hip: it is so easy to fall in love, but it is also perfectly normal to fall out of love. It is a natural part of life and it does not mean you are a bad person or that you failed. Everyone changes, but for now, enjoy yourself because you will have some wonderful memories. Please just try not to take anything too seriously, because nobody ends up with their High School sweetheart. This is a learning experience, so have fun, but please do not let yourself get too tied down.
2. Regarding everyone else you try your hardest to please: this is in reference to your peers. In two years, there will only be two people from High School that you still talk to regularly. Again, people change and relationships change, but the funny thing is that some people stay exactly the same. Some people never developmentally leave High School. Others feel way ahead of their peers, like you sure do. In Middle School, you felt like you were at High School Maturity (and you were) and now you feel like you are at College Maturity. Right now in college, I feel like I am at adult maturity, but it is alright because it is just who I am, and who you are. So what I am trying to say is that you ARE more mature and you do understand life a lot better than you think you do and you certainly understand life better than the majority of your peers. Just remember that you unfortunately have to live in High School Land and deal with the drama that comes along with it. Right now, you feel the need to please your peers in order to succeed, don't you? While that is true to an extent, you need to focus a little less on pleasing them and a little more on finding success on your own. Make more connections with your teachers because in the end, they are the ones that create opportunity for you. As for the peers you try so hard to please, they are the ones that never leave High School Land.
3. Start your college search early. I know it is very daunting and stressful, but start now. Start visiting colleges now and get an idea of what you want because it will be even more stressful when you will have your deposit due in April 2013 and not even know where you are going to go in March 2013. I can tell you right now that you will want to be far enough away that going home every weekend will be unreasonable, but it won't be too much of a pain to make the trip.
4. You are slightly behind in the technology game right now and you always have been. Everyone got a laptop freshman year and a "real" phone in sixth grade. Hate to break it to you, but unless you want to spend your own money on technology that will quickly become obsolete, you will just have to wait. You will eventually be up to date on technology but it will just take a while. Keep in mind, eighteen year old Jess is writing this from a laptop while checking her iPhone. Also keep in mind that this Jess knows a lot of patience.
5. You are a huge advocate for positive body image right now and you will continue to be for many years. You definitely are now and I can't see any of that changing. I just want you to remember that no matter what, you are beautiful. You are a nice little size six right now, but you will soon gain weight for seemingly no reason. Just deal with it and try to be as healthy as you can. Everything will work out in the end. You will discover the secret to all your health problems and be able to fix them. I would mention them to you now, however, figuring this out on your own will be a huge step for you and I can't just give that kind of knowledge away, can I?
6. Let your inner feminist out. You are somewhat of a feminist but do not know it yet. Don't let that nerd, your friends, society, or anybody else tell you any otherwise. Do not let any sexist imbecile hold you back saying that feminism is stupid. It most certainly is not and you will be able to find the happy medium between 1950's housewife and 1960's bra-burner.
7. Do not be afraid to wear your glasses. You do not look bad in them. You just need the right frames to work for your face and this century. Again, you are beautiful no matter what (and it is a lot easier to see in your glasses than in your contacts).
8. You won't get that part in the play. If you are wondering which one I am referring to, it is all except for one. Yeah, I'm completely serious and it is absolutely ridiculous. But don't worry about it because you are good at acting. You think you deserve those parts, and looking back, I know you deserved them too. However, you will have that one part (in one of your favorite plays) and you will be amazing at it.
9. You will become one of your High School's superstars by your Senior year. You will help dominate the school as every Senior class should. You are right to think "What will the school do when my class graduates?" because the 2013 Seniors do know the school better than anyone and they know how to keep traditions going better than any teachers or coaches do. You will help carry those traditions, and remember that passing them onto Nicole is the best way to assure they will continue after you leave.
10. Finally, let yourself be happy. You work so hard all the time and try to please everyone in your life. While that is all well and good, you work to hard at it. If there is just that one person you can't please, don't give them the time of day because they do not deserve it. You deserve your happiness and the rewards that come along with hard work. Be a leader and do your best to help everyone along the way, but do not waste your time helping people that do not help themselves. Let yourself be happy and work to make that happen. Do not get hung up on other people or perfection when it is unnecessary. Just learn to live in the moment when it is appropriate because although the future comes quickly, you don't have any control over it. You have never had control and you never will, so just live life and enjoy it for what it is. Just be yourself, do your best, and be happy.
Love,
Jess
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