Lately I have been making so many changes in my life that I am finding it hard to really even keep track. I am quite obviously now gluten-free and can/do go on and on talking about that. I am also newly (by about two months now) single and it is an interesting new way to live (frankly, I like it a lot). I also just changed my major and declared one minor (plans fell through with the Sports Medicine minor because it is in the Health Science department).
Among these changes, I have made some physical changes. Since becoming gluten-free and losing twenty pounds, I have had a hard time adjusting. Six months ago I would have said "boo-hoo" to anyone who said losing weight quickly in a healthy way was a problem, but I understand the struggle. Frankly, it was weird. I was not ready and not expecting it to happen. It was just a surprising perk of fixing nearly every health problem that had plagued me for years.
I lost a lot of clothing due to the transition. I bought new pants recently and I was told by my roommate that they look ridiculously big on me. I can no longer wear those, as well as a few skirts and all my dress pants that I bought over the course of the last year. I also have a few dresses that are too large, even one that I bought just this June. When I received a t-shirt from the play, I told them I needed a medium, but they looked at me and said "No, you look like a small". Due to this shift in my body size and type, I am going to try to sell my old clothes to a thrift store for teens. I will invest the money I get from the transaction in a few belts, some new staples (such as a new black pencil skirt) and a few pairs of jeans that actually fit.
This brings me to Friday. On Friday, there is a "Black and White" dance being put on here. I will get dressed up and go, but what to wear? I was going to wear a dress I bought six weeks ago, but it shrunk and is now way too short, something I find extremely frustrating. I have my white dress from graduation, but it is now too big. I tried on my black pencil skirt, figuring I could just pull it up, but instead it nearly fell off my hips. I am not complaining that I am small, but I am saying that the lack of time I had to shop before coming to college (and the lack of money) was not healthy for my wardrobe.
As I was about to give up, I pulled a dress I bought in February for a Semi-Formal in High School out of my closet in a reminiscent fashion. It has a red top and an attached black "skirt" part. I had not worn it in nearly a year, but I decided to just try it on.
Putting on the dress felt amazing. I look so much better in it now than I did in February. I felt so satisfied pulling it over my hips and not having it fit nearly as tight as it did last time. There were no fat rolls or awkward places that should not have been there. I felt confident, attractive, and beautiful.
I plan on wearing that dress with a pair of high heels and my new hair. My roommates have been encouraging me and telling me to change my hair. I have always worn my hair parted down the middle at medium length. They told me that I should change this up by parting it to the side. It was not until I did a trial-run of my hair for Friday that I realized how much better the side-part looks on me. I did this, put in my contacts, then had them curl my hair and do my makeup. After that transformation, I felt so confident looking in the mirror. I decided that I should make this my new "look" and I will start it on Friday.
On Friday I will don that amazing dress, style my hair parted to the side with curls, put on eye shadow, wear my contacts, and step into those heels. I will show everyone here how I can look when I put in some effort and decide to show my inner confidence on the outside through my appearance.
All in all, the changes I have made have changed who I am as a person, and frankly, I feel that since I have changed so much over the last four months, my look needs to change too. I am becoming so much more "me" and I love everything about that. So look out world, Jess is thin, single, healthy, happy, and more confident than she ever has been. Just wait and see what happens next.
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