My first semester of college was absolutely crazy. I learned so much in the classroom, but one could argue that I learned more outside of the classroom. I became a lot more "street smart" this semester and was able to catch up on some parts of my social education that I somehow missed in High School without realizing it. I might as well give an overview of those lessons because they are nearly as important as the formal education I am receiving at college.
1. Not Everyone is Drinking, But Almost Everyone Is
I expected a few people to drink when I came to college. I knew there would be a few parties and maybe about half of the people would drink and about a quarter would get drunk. I have no idea what the statistics really are, but they are definitely much higher. I have never had more than just a sip of alcohol in my entire life. Meanwhile there are people in my building who get drunk in the middle of the day if they don't have classes. I try my best not to judge because it is their life, not mine. While I do not judge, I do have one statement to make on the subject. Go and get drunk if you want, it's your life. However, if I can year your obnoxious yelling or any of your loud party music above my headphones when I am watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix, we have a problem.
2. I Do Not Need a Huge Purse
In High School I carried a purse that was big enough to carry pens, lotion, hand sanitizer, a nail file, a wallet, lip-stain, a smaller purse, papers, checks, a water bottle, tissues, and a snack. I would play games with my sister and friends to see if anyone could guess all the items in my purse, but they usually got stuck when there were band-aids, paperclips, and hair ties still siting in the bottom. I have now consolidated everything into a very small Vera Bradley wristlet which can hold a cell phone, three credit cards, an ID, a little cash, and coins. I am able to carry my license, student ID, credit card, and money with me at all times and I have a small bottle of sanitizer hanging around the key-ring with my suite and dorm key. I have never found myself in a situation where I would rather have that big bulky purse than that wristlet. I have everything I need in the small accessory and it is much better than carrying around a bag that could fit a small dog.
3. Roommate Conflicts are Inevitable
I have seen it happen to roommates during the first week and I have seen roommates that are best friends argue. When you sleep only eight feet from someone you just met a couple months prior, conflicts happen. To be completely honest, my roommate and I did not get along at all at first. She annoyed me and complained and I annoyed her and complained right back. I am a scatterbrain and she rearranges the pictures on her wall and organizes her desk on a regular basis. She is always hot and I am always cold. We fought at first and worked through many conflicts. It was very difficult to do and my grades suffered. I wanted to go home, and when she did, it was wonderful for me. Over time, we put everything on the table. We talked through all our issues instead of bottling them up. We called each other out issues that bothered us and as a result, we found peace and friendship. I now consider my roommate one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and I am free to be myself around her. Roommate conflicts are inevitable but friendships are not. If you argue with your roommate, congratulations: you are normal. If you move past those arguments and become friends, then congratulations: you are extremely lucky.
4. Long Distance Doesn't Work (For Most)
Most couples will break up very soon after separation, but some will stay together. What is the difference between those few that stay together and those many that fall apart? Communication. Communication is key in every single situation. It is important in roommate conflict resolution and it is important in long distance relationships. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is not responding to your communication attempts, it is a red flag. If it takes them two weeks to respond to your breakup message because they were too busy ignoring you, it is the biggest sign that you made the right decision.
5. Your Weight Can and Will Change
Fortunately for me, I did not gain the Freshman Fifteen: I lost it. Unfortunately for many of my peers, they fell victim to the cliché and now stretch the limits of their jeans and wear leggings and yoga pants much more often. A few of my friends gained some weight and a few lost it. It is all due to a change in diet and exercise routine. Why does this happen? Many people see college as the freedom to order pizza, drink lots of alcohol, and stop going to the gym. Others see it as an opportunity to eat the healthy food available in the cafeteria and use the gym that comes free with that $40,000 tuition. During your first semester, your weight will probably change because your routines will change. It is up to you to decide if you will gain or lose it.
6. You Dress Like a Slut on Halloween and That is Socially Acceptable
For Halloween, I was Kim Possible. For a quick refresher course in 2000's Disney cartoons, she's just your basic, average girl, here to save the world. She had bright orange hair that was very large, had brown lips, and her outfit of choice for fighting crime was a revealing black top with green cargo capri pants (from Club Banana, of course). I decided to take this on as my Halloween costume. I found a black cheerleader crop top that revealed my entire stomach and only spared my arms and chest in its conquest to show my body to the world. I also bought extremely short green shorts with cargo pockets because they looked much better than pants. I looked like a total slut. The feminist part of me was very ashamed for what I wore, but the teenager who finally felt confident in her body for the first time in two years had a proud victory that day. I was encouraged by my peers and they loved my costume with teased orange hair and revealing outfit. Halloween is the get-out-of-being-called-a-slut-no-matter-how-trashy-you-look holiday on college campuses.
7. You Can Exist in One Square Mile for Weeks on End
Before college, this simple concept seemed impossible. Spending more than just a few days in a square mile of space would seem very unusual because I have to drive about ten miles before I can access anything. At college I have my home, my friends, my food, my classes, my gym, and my social events all on this tiny campus of about a square mile. It is possible and while an unusual concept, I do not mind it one bit.
8. Leggings are the Best Invention Ever
When I was in High School, I thought girls that wore leggings and yoga pants in public were girls that were either trying too hard to show off their flat butts in something that would flatter it, or giving up on life. I realized that wearing soft clothes in public is actually fine. Leggings look amazing on almost every figure and they are much more comfortable than any pair of jeans. When they are worn tastefully, they look great.
9. Relationships are Not Formally Defined
I read a lot of classics like Jane Eyre. I have an affinity for the courtship customs of past centuries. A guy would be a lot better off asking me to become his girlfriend than asking me to "hang" or "chill" several times and then become "kinda sorta a thing" with me. This new concept of DTR (defining the relationship) sounds stressful and I do not even need to do it. When I was asked out when I was fifteen years old, it was specific and the relationship was defined in the form of a question. I appreciated that and although it sounds juvenile, I would like that to happen to me again someday. Of course, I would have to know the guy pretty well beforehand. He would have to be a friend or someone I had hung out with a few times to got to know first. This new relationship culture of just being "kinda sorta a thing" seems so confusing and unecessary. I like knowing what is going on around me, and being in a flirtationship like that would be so confusing and annoying in my opinion... but who knows? It's probably better than being single.
10. You Learn Who Your Real Friends Are
In High School, I had many friends. There was not any concept of popularity due to the size of my school (we had seventy seven students in the entire school). I got along with everyone and while I had some frienemies, I was perfectly content with my friendship circle. After High School ended, I knew that one of my best friends who I have texted constantly since 2009 would stick around, but I was afraid another would fade away. Instead of the drifting apart that I feared, we kept in touch and now she drives me home for vacations from college. I even stayed at her college one weekend recently. When I went to college, I learned who cared enough to keep in touch and who I cared about enough to stay in contact with. I have my two friends from High School that I still consider my best friends. When I left High School, I did not have as many true friends as I thought I did, but I realized how close I was with the two I had.
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